As my eldest son, Ethan, approaches the end of his junior year of high school, the pressure surrounding college preparations is intensifying. ACT tests, financial aid workshops, campus tours—there’s a lot on his plate, and naturally, a lot for me to worry about.
According to the countless college checklists I’ve come across, I should be doing far more in terms of planning. I haven’t enrolled Ethan in an ACT prep course or looked into admissions requirements for our state universities. We’ve skipped college fairs, haven’t scheduled campus visits, and haven’t explored scholarship opportunities.
To be honest, the likelihood of Ethan—a generally average student—being accepted into the more prestigious universities in our state is slim, especially considering his academic performance. But my indifference runs deeper than that: while I appreciate the value of higher education, I also recognize that many young people might not be ready for college right after high school, if at all.
I get it. My high school years were filled with social activities and creative pursuits, yet academically, I was often distracted. I thrived in classes like drama and art but would zone out during subjects like biology or calculus. It wasn’t merely a lack of study skills; I simply didn’t care enough about academic achievements to put in the necessary effort.
When my friends headed off to college, I followed suit, enrolling in a mid-sized state university alongside a friend. I had fun, but academically, I struggled. After four semesters and a dismal GPA, I dropped out, burdened with student loans and still unsure of my future.
Eventually, I returned to education as a mom, and this time, I was determined. I excelled and earned straight A’s. However, when I landed a freelance writing gig that paid well, I started questioning whether college was the right path for me. Despite my academic success, the financial burden weighed heavily on me, especially with two little kids and another on the way. I ultimately decided to leave school again, but this time, I haven’t looked back.
Now, over a decade later, I find myself in the peculiar position of needing to rally enthusiasm for a path I didn’t finish myself. Recently, Ethan casually remarked, “College is a scam.” I instinctively replied, “No, it’s not!” only to be met with his pointed observation: “Neither you nor Dad graduated, and you’re both doing fine.”
He has a point. My partner, Mark, has a comparable college experience yet thrives as an IT technician with a few certifications. His career is a testament to grit, self-education, and interpersonal skills. As for me, I’ve spent nearly a decade as a full-time writer. Together, we earn a decent living—comfortable but not extravagant, and our family’s needs are met.
I recognize that Mark and I are exceptions to the rule. A college degree often enhances job prospects, and self-employment isn’t the right fit for everyone. I sometimes worry about how other parents perceive my relaxed stance on Ethan’s future. Yet, my primary role as a parent is to understand and support each child’s individuality, guiding them toward adulthood in a way that suits their unique path—regardless of societal expectations.
Some of our kids will undoubtedly aspire to attend college, and while I don’t quite grasp the appeal, I’m perfectly okay with it. If Ethan chooses to take a year, two, or even five before pursuing higher education—or if he opts to explore entrepreneurship, a trade, or creative endeavors—that would be perfectly acceptable, as long as he’s working hard, engaging with the world, and broadening his horizons.
In a world where the pressure to conform is immense, embracing a self-directed life can spare many young adults from stress, struggle, and often crippling debt.
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In summary, while I may not follow the traditional path for Ethan’s future, I believe he’ll carve out his own unique journey, and that’s what truly matters.
Keyphrase: Teen College Readiness
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