Isn’t advice a peculiar thing? I quickly discovered that seeking advice is like unfurling a welcome mat for unsolicited opinions about parenting.
“Hey, Aunt Lucy! How did you get your kids to sleep through the night?”
“Oh, that’s super helpful! And since you’re on a roll, could you also lecture me about my kid’s diet, education, discipline, and the fact that his hair looks like a bird’s nest? Thanks a ton!”
This is precisely why I have such an aversion to advice. But you know what’s even more infuriating than unsolicited advice? Those ridiculous pseudo-scientific studies that pretend to offer guidance.
You have the Internet at your fingertips, right? Here’s a fun challenge: visit any news website and see if you can avoid stumbling upon a parenting study. Good luck with that! In recent months, I’ve learned that…
- Watching television can diminish your child’s self-worth.
- Unless your child is a white boy, in which case, it could actually boost his self-esteem.
- Self-esteem is crucial, but don’t overdo it, or you may end up raising a narcissist.
- The rise in narcissism is alarming, paralleling the rise in obesity—both of which seem almost unavoidable. Especially if your child enjoys watching TV.
So, I guess it’s fine for white boys, even if they’re overweight (which they likely are), because they probably possess a great sense of self-worth along with a sprinkle of narcissism.
Feeling confused? A bit frustrated? Me too! If I have to read one more parenting study, someone is getting punched in the throat. Seriously, who funds these absurdities? Probably a group of non-parents, that’s who. Since the dawn of time, when the first mother gave birth, there has been a demand for this nonsense.
I can just picture the Original Mother, squatting by the fire in her cave, grumbling about her rocky sleeping arrangements while her tiny offspring wailed at full volume. I bet she laid that cave-baby down, stepped outside, and howled at the moon, driven mad by sleep deprivation. And you know what? I did the same thing just six months ago.
No matter what some “expert” claims to have derived from studying infants in a controlled environment, frustrated parents throughout history have been successfully feeding, nurturing, and raising their children without this overwhelming flood of “studies.”
So, to the poorly designed parenting studies funded by baby food companies or conducted by starving college students hoping to make a name for themselves: Stop wasting our time.
And to the media? Please stop publishing this nonsense. You’re genuinely not helping anyone. This modern-day cave mom is mere moments away from throwing a punch!
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In summary, while parenting advice and studies can often feel overwhelming and contradictory, the experiences of parents throughout history remind us that love and instinct often trump data. We should focus on what genuinely works for our families instead of getting lost in a sea of conflicting opinions and studies.
Keyphrase: Parenting studies and advice
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