Parenting
By: Emma Lane
Updated: April 12, 2016
Originally Published: May 1, 2015
My kids are incredibly affectionate, and I genuinely cherish their loving gestures. It warms my heart when they reach out and stroke my face, especially when they’re trying to comfort me. A few months back, I was feeling down, and my 5-year-old approached me with genuine concern, placing her tiny hand on my cheek and saying, “It’s alright, Mama, I love you.”
However, I quickly recoiled. The odor that wafted up from her hand was alarmingly familiar and undeniably foul. What I had mistaken for a sweet gesture was complicated by the pungent remnants of something I’d rather not encounter. Yes, I had been slapped in the face with the scent of a child’s rear end.
What should have been a lovely moment was ruined by the unfortunate fact that she had “butt juice” on her hand. I’d noticed her hands in her pants before, but experiencing the aftermath of that exploration was a game changer. From that day forward, I have vowed that my children’s sweet little hands won’t touch my face without a thorough hand-washing or an intense sniff test. Here are five reasons why:
- Fecal Matter. If your child is between the ages of 0 and 8, there’s a fair shot that their hands might harbor some poop. You’d be shocked to find what can lurk beneath those adorable fingernails. For the love of all that’s holy, don’t ever pick at those dark spots. You will regret it.
- Nasal Discharge. Let’s be honest—nose-picking is a common pastime for both kids and adults. However, children take this to a whole new level, often neglecting basic hygiene. They pick, wipe, and even munch on those little nuggets without a second thought. If you allow your daughter, let’s say, Lily, to lovingly graze your face with her damp hands, you might just be applying a homemade mucus facial.
- Exploratory Hands. Kids are naturally curious, and self-exploration is part of their development. But if little Jake wants to squeeze your cheeks, you’d better stop him for a quick sniff check. The chances are high that if one end is open for exploration, the other likely is too, and that scent can be unforgettable.
- Food Residue. At first glance, this might not seem too bad. But just spend a few minutes observing children eat at a lunch table, and you’ll quickly change your mind. Those little hands can transfer remnants of anything from yogurt to greasy meat, leaving a delightful scent that falls somewhere between spoiled fruit and gym socks.
- Nature’s Mysteries. Kids have a knack for discovering all sorts of bizarre things outdoors—think slimy worms or who knows what else. My son, for instance, is particularly adept at finding unusual creatures. I can’t risk those hands touching my face without a thorough wash, as I never know what he might have unearthed.
I hope this serves as a wake-up call for parents who love to snuggle with their kids. You might think your little ones are cleaner than mine, but remember that snot and germs do not discriminate. If you want to avoid a messy surprise, be sure to wash those hands thoroughly or conduct a sniff test. Trust me, it’s worth the extra effort.
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Summary
In sum, while the affectionate gestures of children are heartwarming, they can also pose unseen risks due to hygiene. From potential fecal matter to food residues and the mysteries of nature, it’s wise to be cautious. A quick wash or sniff test can save you from an unpleasant experience.
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