As a young girl, I often envied my peers whose mothers were actively involved in school activities—those who showed up to help with art projects, chaperoned field trips, or slipped extra cookies into their lunches. My mother, however, was a single parent whose reality was far from that ideal. She would have loved to be that hands-on mom, but her sick days were strictly reserved for when her children were unwell. Balancing her full-time job as a special education teacher with the demands of raising two creative and sensitive daughters left her with no spare moments.
This wasn’t her dream scenario. As a child, she had envisioned a bustling household filled with laughter and play, even dreaming of having eight kids! But life took a different turn. She had imagined a traditional family setup—one where a father supported the family while a mother stayed home with the children. My father was a caring individual, but he couldn’t meet the expectations she had for him as a husband or provider. In my early years, he struggled to make ends meet while my mother juggled most of the childcare duties. Over time, it became clear that their visions for family life were misaligned—he sought to pursue political ambitions while she wished to be a nurturing presence at home.
My parents separated when my younger sister was born. It wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I learned about the sacrifices my mother made during those first 18 months of my sister’s life—living off the sale of a condo and relying on government assistance and family support. She was determined to be present for her children during those formative years. Even after returning to work, financial strain was a constant challenge, and it took her a decade to achieve full independence. Yet, despite the struggles, we always had our needs met.
Now, as I navigate my eighth year as a mostly full-time mom to my two sons, I feel incredibly grateful. The daily grind of motherhood can be exhausting and isolating, but it’s a privilege to be present with them. I appreciate every moment, especially when my partner returns home after a long day at work. I’m fortunate to have someone who shares my vision of family life, and while finances can be tight, we make it work. My upbringing taught me that a child’s greatest need is the presence of their parents.
I recognize that not every family aspires to a traditional setup, and many women seek careers outside the home. Some families simply cannot afford to have one parent stay at home, and not all households have two supportive parents. I’m grateful that I have the option to choose between staying home or working.
Above all, I owe a great deal to my mother. Despite the financial stresses and exhaustion she faced each day, she was my unwavering support. She did the best she could with the resources she had, shaping me into the woman and mother I am today. I always knew she would be there for me, providing stability amid the uncertainties of my childhood.
Now, in her retirement after over two decades of teaching, she continues to be my rock. She readily drops everything to help with my children, and while I sometimes feel guilty asking for help—given that she had little support when we were growing up—she derives joy from being with us. I want my children to experience her in this relaxed phase of her life, to remember the sound of her guitar as she sings “Skip to My Lou,” and to know her laughter as she rolls on the floor with them. I hope they come to appreciate her strength and resilience, enveloped in her limitless love.
In conclusion, my gratitude for my mother knows no bounds. She has been the foundation of my life, and I cherish the opportunity for my children to know her.
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