First things first: you are not alone, you are not “crazy,” and you are absolutely not failing at this. Remember how, before your little one arrived, you reassured yourself by thinking, “Countless women have done this”? Well, guess what—countless women have also felt exactly what you’re feeling right now. I may not know your specific thoughts, but I can assure you that many of us have walked this rocky path of first-time motherhood.
You were prepared for challenges, but I bet you didn’t anticipate just how tough it would actually be. And those seemingly perfect mothers on social media? They’re probably embellishing the truth. You know, the ones who claim they cherished every second with their newborns, even the sleepless nights and the endless diaper changes? They might be telling themselves a story that’s more about selective memory than reality. Because, let’s be real—having a newborn can be overwhelming.
Speaking of overwhelming, let’s pause for a moment. I’m waiting for some judgmental moms to come after me for saying this. Waiting… and still waiting. Okay, I think we’re in the clear.
Newborns are undeniably amazing—their tiny toes, the sweet smell of their heads (just avoid the other end), and those tiny fingers that curl around yours. However, the reality is that the initial weeks can feel like a whirlwind. I remember when I had Emma. The first couple of weeks felt manageable since she mostly slept, and I thought, “This isn’t too bad.” But then reality hit, HARD. No one really warned me about the chaos that was about to unfold. Instead of realistic advice, I got jokes like “sleep now” or “enjoy your freedom.” What I wish they had said was, “Buckle up, life is about to change drastically.”
Imagine how a prisoner of war feels during interrogation, deprived of sleep and subjected to loud noises. That’s pretty much what it’s like having a newborn, minus the mean interrogator—just a little bundle of joy with a loud cry, waking you up every few hours, ready to be pampered. And even when you manage to soothe them, they’ll just wake you up again, and again, and again.
Now, let’s throw in those post-pregnancy hormones, which are bouncing around like a pinball machine. And if you’re breastfeeding for the first time, those tender nipples might feel like they’ve been set on fire. If you’re not breastfeeding, well, your breasts might feel like they’re about to burst. Then there’s your partner, who just doesn’t seem to get it, making comments that are less than helpful. And let’s not even start on the unsolicited advice from well-meaning family and friends.
I just wish someone had told me that the early days of parenting can be incredibly tough. If I had known that it was a shared experience, I could have reassured myself that I wasn’t failing. I could have realized that things would improve—eventually.
So here’s my message to you: congratulations on your beautiful new baby! I hope you find ways to navigate these challenging days. And by navigate, I mean survive them, knowing that your feelings are valid and you’re doing just fine, even when it feels like you’re not.
With love from someone who’s been in your shoes and is now happily armed with several methods of birth control, even though I adore my kids.
For more on this journey, check out our post on couples’ fertility journeys for intracervical insemination here. Also, if you’re looking for reliable resources on pregnancy and home insemination, don’t miss this excellent article. And for those considering options, our friends at Cryobaby have some great at-home insemination kits available.
In summary, motherhood is a wild ride, especially at the start. You’re not alone, and you’re doing better than you think.
Keyphrase: New mom support
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