I see you. I see your fear and confusion as you leave your little one behind in the hospital, where they need extra help after arriving too soon. I see you taking notes while the doctor explains the complex machines and sounds surrounding your precious baby. Despite your efforts to absorb all the medical terms, your gaze often drifts back to your little one in her isolette, with the aching question of when you’ll finally be able to hold her close.
I see you making that daily drive to the hospital, determined not to miss a single moment with your child. I can feel the heaviness in your shoulders as you brace yourself for another long day of visiting your baby, only to leave her behind once more.
Then comes the day when you finally bring your baby home, a moment filled with joy and excitement, yet tinged with anxiety. You wonder if you’ll be able to care for her as well as the doctors did, questioning if you will be enough.
A few months later, I see you celebrating the fact that your baby is with you all the time, yet feeling overwhelmed by the constant attention she demands. Your life now revolves around appointments with doctors, specialists, and therapists. You strive to remind yourself to be grateful for how far your baby has come, but that gratitude sometimes only fuels your frustration. Why did your child have to struggle so much? Why did this happen to your family? These questions plague you daily, with no satisfying answers in sight.
I see you at a birthday celebration for a friend’s child, born around the same time your baby was due. You wear a genuine smile, but it’s not the same as before. While you’re happy for your friend, it hurts to see the milestones that your child has yet to reach.
At night, I see you crying, consumed by guilt, worry, and anger. If only you had been able to keep your baby inside a little longer… If only you had been more insistent at the doctor’s office… If only you hadn’t indulged in that cup of coffee or sugary treat. You might blame yourself, contemplating what you could have done differently to prevent this situation.
I see you turning down invitations to playgrounds and social gatherings during that first year, terrified of your little one catching a cold. The doctors warned you that this crucial first winter required caution, so you find yourself homebound, knowing that it will be worth it when spring arrives.
I see you meticulously packing your diaper bag, which looks different from others. Hand sanitizer, extra oxygen tanks, and masks fill your bag, preparing you for outings with your baby. Each trip to the grocery store feels like a strategic mission as you assess risks and plan how quickly you can complete your tasks, all while praying for everyone’s health.
I notice how you struggle to answer questions about your baby’s age. You know that revealing the truth will lead to more questions than you have the energy to answer. Yet, you feel compelled to honor your child’s journey, so you often find yourself giving varying responses based on how you feel at the moment.
You may wonder if you are truly the mother your baby needs. You might believe that someone else would handle the therapies and arrangements better than you. You reflect on your life before—perhaps you were working, and now you’re at home, or vice versa. Regardless, it’s not the life you envisioned.
I wish I had the answers you seek. I long for clarity, too. But please know that I see you. I see you, and you are not alone in this journey.
Sincerely,
A fellow Preemie Mom
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In summary, as a preemie mom, you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed and fearful, yet you are also filled with hope and love. Your journey may be different from what you expected, but you are doing your best every day.
Keyphrase: preemie mom support
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