Updated: March 4, 2021
Originally Published: March 21, 2015
Navigating the world of co-sleeping when you didn’t plan on it (but your little one insists on it):
- 11 PM: Settle into the night with everyone tucked away in their respective beds, convinced that this arrangement is here to stay.
- 12:30 AM: Rise to comfort the baby back to slumber.
- 1:30 AM: Get up again to rock the baby, praying it’ll do the trick.
- 2 AM: Take a bathroom break. Reflect on the importance of those pelvic floor exercises.
- 2:45 AM: Try rocking the baby once more. No luck. Feeling cold and utterly drained. Finally, you surrender and invite the baby into bed—yet again promising it’s the last time (as you always do).
- 2:50 AM: Implement safe co-sleeping practices: shielding your eyes, hair, and vital organs from the baby’s flailing limbs as they settle in.
- 2:55 AM: Experience an unexpected, yet powerful kick to your temple. How did that foot reach so high? Stay composed and mentally curse instead of voicing it.
- 3 AM: Alongside your partner, precariously cling to the edge of the bed, marveling at how such a small baby can dominate so much space and somehow grow extra appendages.
- 3:10 AM: Communicate silently with your partner through exaggerated gestures about your octopus-like baby and the shrinking bed real estate. Watch him retreat to the spare room, almost gleefully, as the baby claims the space left behind. You remain firmly at the edge of the bed.
- 3:15 AM: As you wait for the baby to settle (read: stop the assault), feel a wave of gratitude for being horizontal instead of standing in the nursery, playing the desperate game of ‘shush-pat.’
- 3:20 AM: The baby finally drifts off, but your throat suddenly demands a cough. You try to stifle it but emit a strangled sound, reminiscent of a sick animal.
- 3:25 AM: Attempt to free your hair from the baby’s iron grip. Exhausted, you convince yourself you can sleep through the pain.
- 3:26 AM: You cannot sleep through the pain. Again, silent curses abound.
- 3:30 AM: Cycle through these thoughts: Nobody else co-sleeps. Co-sleeping is natural. Co-sleeping creates dependency. Co-sleeping is right for us. I’ll regret co-sleeping. Is my scalp bleeding? We’re almost out of bread.
- 3:55 AM: Gaze at your little one, appreciating the warmth of their presence next to you. Listen to their soft breathing and start to drift off.
- 5:15 AM: Jolt awake, panic-stricken that the baby has vanished. Nope, they’re right there—head resting on your already delicate bladder.
- 5:20 AM: Ignore the urgent call of nature and try to return to sleep. Contemplate if bed-wetting is a suitable alternative to waking the baby. You remain undecided.
- 5:25 AM: Bravely shift your baby’s head—success! Drift off.
- 6:15 AM: Wake up to your baby cheerfully whacking you with their pacifier, grinning. Another successful night for them!
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Summary:
Co-sleeping can often feel like an unplanned adventure for parents. As you navigate sleepless nights and surprising kicks, remember that you’re not alone in this journey. Embrace the chaos, and seek out resources to support your parenting choices.
Keyphrase: co-sleeping guide
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