Dear Mom,
Perhaps your little one never really latched on. Maybe breastfeeding felt excruciating, and no amount of soothing seemed to help. You might have received conflicting advice from various sources—the hospital staff, your pediatrician, your obstetrician, or even well-meaning friends or family. Perhaps you simply didn’t feel inclined to breastfeed at all. There might be personal circumstances that made the thought of breastfeeding daunting or even repulsive for you.
Maybe your milk supply just didn’t come in, and the reason remains a mystery. If you’re an adoptive mom, perhaps breastfeeding wasn’t an option that fit your situation. You may have tried numerous gadgets or techniques to make breastfeeding work, but instead, they left you feeling disconnected from your body, prompting you to step back. Some moms have medical conditions or must take medications that aren’t compatible with breastfeeding. Or maybe the struggles you faced were simply too much, and for the sake of your mental health, you decided to stop trying.
You might not have enjoyed the experience of breastfeeding at all, and that’s perfectly valid. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
You don’t need to provide a reason for your decision. (But I’m here to listen if you want to share.) You don’t have to dissect why breastfeeding didn’t pan out. (Yet, if you wish to explore it together, I’m here for that too.)
Sometimes, you might find yourself running through the “what ifs” in your mind: What if you had consulted a lactation specialist? What if you had sought a second opinion? What if your birth had gone smoother? What if your postpartum depression had been addressed earlier? What if you had simply waited out those challenging early weeks of motherhood?
If you feel a void in your heart over your breastfeeding journey, know that I understand. After giving birth, many mothers feel a natural instinct to nurse, a primal urge that can make it particularly hard when things don’t go as planned. Remember, you are not alone in feeling this way.
However, if you find solace in your choice not to breastfeed, that’s perfectly acceptable too. It’s okay to have consciously decided against breastfeeding and to appreciate the convenience and freedom that bottle-feeding brings.
Regardless of your feelings—be they regret, acceptance, or peace—I want you to know this: breastfeeding encompasses so much more than just milk. While breastmilk is packed with antibodies, nutrients, and protective benefits, any amount you provided was a gift. If you didn’t nurse at all, it doesn’t mean you failed. You are still a dedicated mother who does everything possible for your child’s well-being.
Breastfeeding is more than just nourishment. It’s about that intimate moment of holding your baby close, both of you gazing at each other in awe. It’s about connection, touch, and two souls who have long sought one another now finding solace in each other’s presence.
It’s about the comfort of cradling your child in your arms, something you can do no matter how you choose to feed them. Period.
The stigma and judgment surrounding the choice not to breastfeed must come to an end. What truly matters is love.
So let’s embrace love instead of fear. Let’s prioritize connection over division. Let’s reach out to each other for support. Let’s hold our children close, inhaling their sweet baby scent. Let’s breathe together and take a moment to simply be.
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Summary
This letter acknowledges the diverse reasons and emotions surrounding the decision not to breastfeed, celebrating the love and connection that transcends feeding methods. It emphasizes that every mother’s journey is unique and valid, advocating for understanding and support in the parenting community.
Keyphrase: mom who didn’t breastfeed
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