My partner is munching on a blackberry just inches from me, and it sounds like a marching band. I lean back, shooting him a glare that says, “Stop that now, or else!” He chuckles, inches closer, and crunches even louder, teasing me about my sanity. My heart races as I bolt from the room. Clearly, he’s the one with the superhuman ability to amplify the sound of a simple fruit!
I’ve been told I’m not the most “typical” person in various scenarios. When someone sneezes in the car, I roll down my window like I’m in a race against time. At Costco, if I encounter someone dragging their feet on the floor, I feel like I might hurl. And in the cinema, if I’m stuck between people devouring popcorn, I need to change seats immediately.
But you know what? My husband has a point: I am a bit off-kilter, and I’m proud to claim it.
It turns out I have a genuine condition, validated even on the “LIVE with Kelly and Michael” show. Kelly Ripa herself mentioned her struggle with misophonia on national television. For those unfamiliar, misophonia (pronounced mis-oh-foh-nee-uh) translates to “hatred of sound,” and involves a neurological response where certain noises provoke intense feelings of anger, disgust, or panic.
Kelly shared that she has to leave the house when her husband eats a peach, and I was stunned. All this time, I thought I was the only one tormented by a noisy partner. I nearly fell to my knees with the realization that I’m not alone in dealing with a crunching spouse!
I rushed to share my new “diagnosis” with him.
“Who’s Kelly?”
“Kelly Ripa! The soap star turned talk show host! We both share misophonia. We’re basically twins! She wants to punch her husband when he eats a peach! Can you believe it?”
I explained that it’s a rarely recognized mental illness, so yes, I must be a bit crazy.
“Isn’t this an amazing discovery?”
He walks away, crunching almonds, while I contemplate turning him into a kitchen decoration.
Convincing him of my disorder might be an uphill battle. But it’s real, and I’ve dealt with it my entire life. Things like running water, clicking pens, nail clippers, humming, beeping, whistling, slurping, chewing, and lawn mowers trigger my irritability.
While there are methods to mitigate these annoying sounds, I recently discovered I’m starting to lose my hearing. Donning double hearing aids at 44 would typically make someone weep, but I’m actually relieved. I can simply turn those things off when the noise becomes unbearable.
It must run in the family. If I want to annoy my older sister, I just give her a call while crinkling a plastic shopping bag. I can count on an instant hang-up, followed by her slurping cereal into the phone during a return call.
As I chuckle at the absurdity of my hearing aids, I glance at my six-year-old daughter, who’s drifting off beside me.
“Mom, can you stop breathing so loud?” she whispers.
“I’m sorry, sweet pea, I totally get it,” I reply to my little clone. “I’ll try to breathe in a less obnoxious way. Or maybe not at all.”
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In summary, misophonia can be a challenging and frustrating experience, but knowing that I’m not alone in this peculiar journey brings some comfort. Whether it’s the crunch of a blackberry or the sound of someone breathing too loudly, I embrace my quirks, and my family does too—most of the time.
Keyphrase: misophonia
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