Remember that family who billed the child who skipped their birthday bash? Honestly, I find a bit of relief in this discussion, as entertaining other kids can really add up. With the chance to recover some expenses, I’ve compiled a list of charges I’ll be sending to other families, starting with these…
- 87 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that your child nibbled on before pushing aside.
- 800 kilowatt hours of electricity consumed by the Wii U.
- Three “essential” Wii U games that my kids learned about from your children.
- Carpool costs, including mileage, gas, and vehicle wear and tear. (This minivan isn’t getting any newer!)
- My billable hours for that playdate you decided to “hang out” at.
- Plumbing services (holiday rate applied, Happy Labor Day!) for the clogged toilet.
- Six rolls of toilet paper that your child attempted to flush down said toilet.
- Various art supplies that were destroyed, despite not being used for any actual projects.
- 18 rolls of paper towels used to demonstrate how to drink from a regular glass to your child.
- Goldfish crackers, goldfish crackers, goldfish crackers.
- The box of ZBars that mysteriously vanished.
- The living room rug that your child deemed “not that nice anyway.”
- The wine I had to consume to recover from your visit.
- 367 Magic Erasers.
- New balls (all have been sent over the fence or lost).
- One gallon of ice cream that had “too much chocolate” and melted into a puddle on our kitchen table.
- Two cups of hot chocolate that were abandoned on the coffee table due to “too much chocolate.”
- One bag of microwave popcorn that I had hidden for my Bravo binge, which your kid found and burned.
- 300 gallons of water wasted in July 2014 when the hose was mistakenly left on for five hours.
- Six boxes of Band-Aids, three tubes of Neosporin (I mentioned multiple times not to eat it).
- Three days at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica.
We accept credit, but cash is preferred. Due to the PTA wrapping paper incident of 2012, personal checks are not an option. Please settle your bill before sending your kids back to my house!
For more insights, check out our post on artificial insemination kits or learn about intrauterine insemination for more resources on pregnancy.
In summary, if you find entertaining kids to be a costly endeavor, consider putting together an amusing invoice. From snacks to accidents, it’s fun to see how the little things add up!
Keyphrase: kids expenses invoice
Tags: [“home insemination kit” “home insemination syringe” “self insemination”]