I used to think I had it all figured out. I graduated from university with honors, which surely meant my brain was functioning at full capacity. I can faintly remember a time when I could concentrate on tasks without feeling like I was juggling a million thoughts at once.
You know that amusement park ride where you sit in a car that spins wildly, while also being part of a bigger spinning contraption? As a child, we called it The Scrambler.
Now, that’s what my mind feels like since stepping into motherhood. It’s like I’m on a never-ending ride, spinning in circles, and the chaos never stops. I can sit here and type coherent thoughts, but what you can’t see are the countless typos I’ve corrected along the way. In just the past twenty minutes, I’ve bounced between writing this piece and addressing a dozen other tasks—feeding kids, singing lullabies, mediating sibling squabbles, searching for a misplaced tablet, answering homework questions, and jotting down groceries.
It feels like motherhood has granted me a case of adult-onset ADD. I struggle to focus on any one thing for more than a couple of minutes. Initially, this distraction only occurred when my kids were around, but now it’s crept into my precious alone time. Even when I finally carve out an hour to myself, my thoughts leap from one worry to another:
- Are the kids consuming too much sugar?
- Have they had enough physical activity lately?
- Do we have snow gear that fits everyone?
- How are we going to fund college? What if they decide to take a gap year?
- Oh right, don’t forget about the karate demonstration!
- I need to finish that work draft by tomorrow.
- Did I remember to note the name of that anxiety specialist?
- The house is a disaster—what am I going to do about that?
- Should BoyWonder start learning an instrument?
- Did I leave the laundry in the washer?
My mind has always wandered, but never to this extent. There are just SO. MANY. THINGS.
Staying organized helps to some extent, but the act of organizing becomes yet another task on my endless to-do list. I could spend an entire day writing down things I need to remember or figure out. It’s overwhelming, and time is never on my side.
Sometimes, I fantasize about escaping for a solo retreat to a serene location where I can allow my thoughts to settle. But would I just end up worrying about the family back home? Am I destined to be unable to concentrate for long stretches ever again?
I wonder if my situation would improve if I didn’t work, or if I worked outside the home, or if we weren’t homeschooling. Maybe if I got more sleep or if I struck it rich and could hire people to manage our household. But even then, I suspect I’d still feel scattered. With the lives of my spouse and kids intricately intertwined with mine, feeling disoriented seems inevitable.
It’s just the reality of motherhood: the responsibilities, the relationships, the messes, the late-night wake-ups, the feeding and bathing, the worries, the schedules, the phases of childhood, the lessons—life can get dizzying.
Ironically, I used to love The Scrambler as a child. Now, just thinking about it makes me feel nauseous. I guess that’s because I’m already on that ride in my mind, spinning endlessly.
If you’re navigating the world of parenthood, you might find some helpful insights in our post about home insemination kits. For more information on pregnancy topics, check out this excellent resource on IVF.
In summary, motherhood can leave you feeling scattered and overwhelmed. Balancing responsibilities with personal needs is challenging, but it’s a universal experience for many parents.
Keyphrase: motherhood distractions
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