I’m frustrated. I don’t want a public school that’s just on the mend; I want one that’s already functioning well. Among all the alternatives—like relocating, private institutions, or religious schools—home-schooling seems to be the only viable option for us. While I truly admire the home-schooling approach, the thought of being the one responsible for teaching my kids is overwhelming.
So, I’ve settled on enrolling our children in a public school that’s showing improvement, with hopes of being highly engaged parents. We will fundraise, participate in enrichment activities (which, in my mind, involves lavish treats), shuttle them to after-school robotics, and mix their bedtime stories with Mandarin flashcards. In essence, I’m planning to be a helicopter parent. And then it dawned on me: I’m essentially crafting a scenario that’s half public school, half home-schooling.
Recently, a writer and mom named Sarah Malone, who has lived in both France and the U.S., shared her insights in an article on Quartz titled “France’s Simple Solution to Curbing Helicopter Parents Makes Life Better for Women.” The French way of parenting would require me to completely overturn my existing cultural norms, which feels daunting.
Malone describes the French school day, which typically runs longer than the standard U.S. school hours—from 8:20 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.—functioning as a form of childcare. They serve delicious, nutritious lunches and provide after-school classes and sports twice a week. She points out that helicopter parenting is a non-issue in France; parents do not have constant access to teachers, nor are they expected to take part in fundraising or volunteer activities during work hours. French parents can go to their jobs secure in the knowledge that their children are well cared for, educated, and fed. As Malone notes, “public school is not supposed to be half home-schooling.”
This observation resonates strongly with parents like me. However, I can’t help but feel a bit resentful—great for France, but what about us? Pamela Wilkins’ detailed comparison of parenting styles in France and the U.S., “Raising Kids the French Way,” hit the shelves just as I entered the world of parenting. While it provided an intriguing glimpse into another culture, it wasn’t particularly practical; adopting a French approach would mean swimming against the current of my own culture, solo. Imagine trying to limit the plethora of sweets at preschool—it’s someone’s birthday nearly every day—while facing the judgment of other parents. Or enforcing a set snack time when kids around are munching on Goldfish and Cheerios all day long.
The disparity in U.S. public schools is staggering; the achievement gap between our lowest and highest performers is vast. The “good” public schools—often synonymous with affluent neighborhoods—thrive because of the involvement of wealthy parents. For those of us in less privileged areas, our children’s educational success hinges on our efforts to raise funds, tutor, and maintain communication with teachers. After all, a third of fourth graders nationwide can’t read at grade level. The issue isn’t my tendency to hover; it’s a systemic failure within our educational framework.
Malone touches on this point: “Moms are being drawn away from their own professional pursuits and forced into a school system that lacks funding, teachers, and basic resources. This is largely due to a societal disdain for quality public education.” Yet, she questions why more Americans don’t support higher taxes for better education and childcare, rather than relying on mothers to fill in the gaps.
When faced with subpar local schools and steep consequences for college education, mothers will go to great lengths to secure their children’s futures. I can’t fathom why this continues to be the case. It’s disheartening that the U.S. offers scant support for families and maintains low standards for public education. It seems that those opposed to universal, high-quality daycare often belong to the “I’ve got mine” mentality.
Malone proposes that moms should channel their energies into their own careers or advocate for improved childcare and educational resources for everyone. It’s a sound suggestion, but for parents like me, who understand that our involvement is crucial to our kids’ success, it’s not a feasible option. No one is likely to step back from managing their children’s education without a drastic improvement in school quality.
The headline “France’s Simple Solution to Curbing Helicopter Parents” is a bit of a joke. Revamping our educational and childcare systems, along with parental leave policies and the economy, is anything but simple. While I appreciate the need to learn from other countries, it’s disheartening that even Malone seems to blame mothers: “Teachers in France don’t deal with the constant parental interference typical in the U.S.” Labeling mothers as “overbearing” or “helicoptering” shifts some responsibility onto them, when they’re merely reacting to a flawed system. In the face of inadequate schools and high stakes for education, mothers will do everything they can to support their children. That’s simply their role.
Indeed, we should advocate for longer school days, equitable funding, and well-trained, well-compensated teachers. However, it’s crucial to recognize this as a societal issue rather than solely a “mother problem.” The idea that “kids need to learn independence without mommy hovering” feels dismissive and reinforces stereotypes about women.
In summary, the challenges within the U.S. public school system need to be addressed collectively. We must work towards a more equitable educational framework that doesn’t place the burden solely on parents, particularly mothers.
For more resources on home insemination and pregnancy, check out this excellent link. If you’re looking into home insemination kits, this guide is also helpful, while this detailed kit offers everything you need for your journey.
Keyphrase: public school vs home schooling
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]