I’m done. I’ve officially decided to step back.
Sure, we often teach our kids about perseverance. When they want to quit soccer after pleading to join, we encourage them to stick it out. If they wish to leave tae kwon do after we’ve invested in gear, we insist they complete the session. But honestly, I’ve reached my limit. I’m waving the white flag in the arena of competitive parenting. At this point, I doubt anyone will even notice my absence.
From day one, I felt like I was lagging behind. I battled postpartum struggles. I didn’t breastfeed. I let my children cry it out—both my kids and myself. I gave them whole milk before they turned one. There was no baby sign language in our house, and I fed them sugary yogurt and fruit snacks (which might as well be toddler crack). My firstborn’s baby book is a chaotic mess of random dates, and my second son doesn’t even have one.
As my kids have grown, my feeling of falling behind has only intensified. It seems like every other parent has their act together and knows exactly what to do. Meanwhile, I’m left feeling frazzled and out of breath. Can someone please tell me when the race starts and how I missed the memo on the parenting rulebook?
Here are just a few reasons why I’m choosing to disengage from this competitive scene (if anyone were keeping track, that is):
- Concert Attire. At my eldest’s preschool holiday concert, while other kids donned adorable outfits, mine showed up in a “Monkey Trouble” t-shirt. But hey, at least he dressed himself, right?
- Meal Planning. Our menu consists mostly of fluorescent orange mac & cheese, peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, and pizza. Sure, we might throw in some baby carrots or apple slices now and then, but those are hardly staples.
- Fashion Sense. If my husband comes home and I’m not wearing pajamas or yoga pants, he wonders if he missed a special occasion. My boys? They live in t-shirts and sweatpants, a far cry from the stylish getups other kids are sporting.
- Sports Enthusiasm. I occasionally cheer from the sidelines, but mostly, I just watch. I don’t make elaborate signs or shout from the bleachers. I make sure my son practices regularly and celebrate his efforts—that’s got to count for something, right?
- Halloween Creativity. While social media is brimming with unique, homemade costumes, my kids often wear last-minute store-bought ones. My youngest usually ends up in his brother’s costume from years past. The one time we had a cute elephant costume was a gift from Grandma, so I can’t take any credit for that.
- Treats for School. Forget about homemade gluten-free, vegan cakes. If I remember to bring treats (which is a huge if), they’re usually sugary store-bought goodies. But hey, the kids think they’re fantastic!
- Art Projects. I appreciate the creativity of preschool art, but there’s only so much glitter and glue I can handle. Many of those lovely creations find their way into the recycling bin.
- Volunteering at School. I envisioned being an involved parent when my son started kindergarten, so I volunteered to coordinate a Halloween party. I thought simple decorations would suffice, but I soon realized I was outdone by other parents.
- Family Outings. My adventures with the kids usually involve trips to Target or casual bike rides. I can’t fathom how some parents manage grand outings to museums or aquariums. We’ve been to the Shedd Aquarium once, and frankly, that seems sufficient for the next several years.
- Playground Dynamics. While the playground is a great outlet for my kids, it also reminds me of high school social dynamics. I prefer to keep my distance from the other parents, as I’m an introvert who struggles with small talk. After a day of reminding my boys about basic hygiene and manners, I can’t bear to hear my own voice anymore.
So, there you have it. These are just a few reasons why I feel like I’m falling behind in the realm of competitive parenting. I’m throwing in the towel.
To those still in the race, kudos to you! Keep up the good work. But for those of you who share my weariness, let’s sit together on this quiet bench in the shade. We can appreciate our kids from afar, without the pressure of competition, and perhaps even sneak a peek at our phones.
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In summary, I’ve decided to opt-out of the exhausting competition that parenting has become, embracing a more relaxed approach while encouraging others to do the same.
Keyphrase: competitive parenting
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