It was a typical day, albeit a bit late, when I arrived at the studio and shared my earlier encounter with some colleagues. Their responses were disheartening: “Are you sure?” or “Maybe it was just a misunderstanding.” It was clear they were skeptical—either doubting my experience or unwilling to acknowledge it. I posted about the incident on my show’s social media, and while I received a wave of support from followers, many echoed the disbelief I’d faced from my coworkers.
As women and individuals of color, we often find our experiences minimized or dismissed. Phrases like:
- “You’re blowing this out of proportion.”
- “Don’t be so sensitive.”
- “If you hadn’t…”
- “Look at it as a compliment.”
- “That happened to me once, but I didn’t make a fuss about it.”
So, when I recently came across a talk by my media inspiration, Ava Monroe, founder of Empower Her Voice, it struck a chord. At the event in Portland, she highlighted a transformative idea:
“One of the most radical acts is simply believing women when they share their experiences.”
Just think about that. What if we chose to believe someone when they narrate their truth? What if we made a conscious effort to lend credence, not just when it’s convenient or aligns with our biases? It’s a common phenomenon where people dismiss serious claims based on their preconceived notions, like my past partner who shrugged off a woman’s harassment case with, “You know women often exaggerate.”
Although being pulled over (twice) without incident doesn’t equate to assault, there’s a shared thread in the experiences of domestic violence, blatant racial discrimination, and the everyday micro-aggressions we face: dismissal and disbelief. The constant message is, “You must be imagining things.”
I’m invigorated by the collective power we possess as women and minority voices to create a significant online discourse that can lead to real change. To those of you who might be hesitant to join this conversation, remember the immense power you hold daily: the power to believe. Please, exercise it.
Reflecting on my own experiences, I recall a commute in 2008 from a predominantly Dominican neighborhood to a suburb where people of color were scarce. As I exited the highway, I noticed three stopped vehicles. One was a van with a Latino driver and a police cruiser in front; another was a sedan with a brown-skinned driver and a woman alongside. After allowing a car driven by a white man to go ahead, the officer locked eyes with me and gestured me to pull over.
“Where are you from?” he demanded, his hands resting on my open window.
“Uh, from Manhattan,” I replied, gripping the steering wheel. My newscaster voice surprised him, given my wet, curly hair and bare face—just how the studio wanted me. “I’m actually the host of a show on CNBC. Can I show you my ID?”
He nodded, and I slowly retrieved my company ID. Without so much as an apology, he returned it and waved me off.
I drove away shaken and angry. I was clearly caught in a racial profiling incident. Was it legal? Who knows. Did I worry about the others left behind? Absolutely. Was the experience unpleasant? Without a doubt. Would it have helped if my colleagues believed me? Definitely.
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In summary, the journey of believing women’s experiences is a radical yet necessary step toward fostering understanding and change. By supporting one another and validating our stories, we can begin to dismantle the patterns of dismissal that have persisted for too long.
Keyphrase: believing women’s experiences
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