Some folks claim that having children doesn’t impact their sex lives at all, while others assert that their romantic encounters increased once the kiddos arrived. I find that hard to believe.
Now, don’t misunderstand me; I appreciate a good romp as much as the next person. However, it’s quite challenging to accept that anyone’s intimate life stays the same or even improves post-kids. The reality is, unless you were already in a dry spell, I can’t fathom how that would be possible. And if that were the case, I genuinely feel sorry for you. But perhaps there’s some wisdom in keeping expectations low; that way, any little intimate moments feel like a win!
Let’s set aside any judgments and get straight to the point: having kids dramatically alters your sex life.
While I might not be a relationship guru, I believe there are five clear stages that couples navigate when it comes to intimacy after becoming parents.
1. Dating Phase
Ah, the blissful days of early romance! Remember those times when you could hardly keep your hands off each other? I spent the first six months with my partner in a constant state of ‘Just Been…’.
2. Cohabiting
This phase begins with excitement. After all, every date preceding your move-in together likely ended with passion, leading you to think you’d be sharing the sheets daily. Spoiler alert: that enthusiasm quickly fades.
3. The Goalie is Pulled
This is the “we’re trying” phase, a magical time when ditching birth control seems to transport you back to the dating days. It’s wonderful—at least for a month. With time, however, the sex starts to feel more like a science project than a romantic adventure.
4. Expecting a Baby
Entering this stage, you may feel euphoric, but then comes the dreaded morning sickness. Trust me, nothing ruins the mood quite like your partner hearing you vomit repeatedly. While you may regain some energy in the second trimester, many men tend to shy away from intimacy as your belly grows—something about “not wanting to poke the baby.”
5. The Never-Ending Dry Spell
Once you reach this phase, your sex life will be forever altered. Now, intimacy must be meticulously planned around naps and bedtimes, and when you finally do find the energy, you pray the baby doesn’t wake up. Believe me, the sound of a child’s cries is an instant mood killer.
While I’m sure there are more than five phases in this journey of love, my partner and I haven’t explored them all yet. I suspect that once our little one starts school in a couple of years, we might just reclaim some of those spontaneous moments. If I’m wrong, kindly keep that info to yourself.
For more on navigating the world of home insemination, you can check out our post on the BabyMaker Home Intracervical Insemination Syringe Kit Combo. Also, for those interested in the science behind conception, CryoBaby At-Home Insemination Kit is a great resource. If you’re looking for more information on infertility treatments, this resource from ACOG is excellent.
In summary, while the journey of parenthood undoubtedly impacts intimacy, a little humor and understanding can go a long way in navigating this new terrain.
Keyphrase: Five Phases of Parents’ Intimacy
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