I’m the woman who relishes the experience of being pregnant. Stretch marks, nausea, swelling, episiotomies—all of it fascinates me. The miracle of a woman’s body creating a new life in less than a year is nothing short of incredible. Feeling that little one kick and dance inside me is pure magic. However, I have no intention of bringing another tiny sleep thief home. I’ve already ridden that rollercoaster twice, and I’m perfectly content with my two little charms who can now articulate their thoughts in full sentences.
Instead, I’m getting my pregnancy fix by carrying a child for someone else. While gestational surrogacy is becoming more common, it remains shrouded in mystery for many. I genuinely enjoy explaining the process, but some questions can really push a surrogate’s buttons.
1. How can you possibly give up a baby you’ve carried for 9 months? That’s just wrong.
Well, let’s put it this way: would you worry that your long-time babysitter might kidnap your child? Highly unlikely. Most reputable agencies require surrogates to have at least one child of their own before they can become surrogates. This ensures they understand the challenges of newborns and don’t have any unrealistic notions. Surrogates do bond with the baby, much like a caregiver would, but we enter into surrogacy fully aware that the baby isn’t ours to keep. Plus, witnessing the joy on the intended parents’ faces when they meet their baby for the first time makes it easy to let go.
2. But won’t you feel that it’s your baby?
Since this baby isn’t genetically mine, the answer is no. The embryos are created by the intended parents or donors, and the little one is placed in my womb via IVF—not through traditional means. You don’t “give up” a baby; you simply return them to their rightful owners.
3. Isn’t surrogacy just for rich women and celebrities who want to avoid gaining weight?
If such parents exist, they are the exception rather than the norm. Most individuals who pursue surrogacy are everyday people who have encountered challenges in starting their families. This includes gay couples, single fathers, older couples, and those facing unexplained infertility. There are women who risked their lives during childbirth or lost reproductive organs to cancer. The common thread is their desire to grow their families.
4. How much are they paying you? You must be rolling in cash.
So, what’s your salary like these days? Can I also get a glimpse of your beliefs and maybe a bite of your sandwich? This kind of question is typically considered rude. The short answer is “not nearly enough.” Medical expenses are covered by the intended parents, and most gestational surrogates receive some form of pre-birth compensation. However, you can’t put a price on morning sickness, stretch marks, hormone injections, and the intense experience of delivering a baby for someone else. Most women don’t enter surrogacy for financial gain.
5. Why not just adopt?
Surprisingly, this question often comes from those who have their own biological children. So, why didn’t you adopt? Because adopting can be a long, arduous process, and some individuals desire to see a piece of their own history continue. They hope for their child to inherit traits from their family, like their father’s eyes or their grandmother’s smile. A gestational surrogate simply helps make that dream a reality.
Surrogacy is undoubtedly a journey filled with highs and lows. After the experience concludes and the beautiful baby is nestled in their parents’ arms, tears will flow. Not from a desire to keep the child, but from the joy of witnessing the miracle we helped create. We’ll cry because this beautiful journey has reached its end, and we know that once those wild postpartum hormones settle, we might just want to embark on this adventure again.
For more insights on becoming a parent, you can check out this excellent resource about the process. Also, if you’re considering your own path to parenthood, this article on at-home insemination kits can provide valuable information, as well as this guide on essential tools for the journey.
Summary
Gestational surrogacy is a rewarding yet misunderstood journey. Surrogates often face misconceptions and intrusive questions, but the experience is rooted in love and the joy of helping others build their families.
Keyphrase: gestational surrogacy experience
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