Recently, I had an insightful conversation with a friend, Mark, who inspired me to explore meditation. His amusing and thought-provoking book on his meditation journey, 10% Happier: How I Tamed My Inner Voice, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Discovered Self-Help That Truly Works, is about to release next month. With Mark’s extensive thinking on the links between habits and happiness, I was eager to hear his insights.
What Simple Habit Consistently Boosts Your Happiness?
Surprisingly, I never thought I would say this, but my answer is…meditation. I always pictured meditation as an activity reserved for robed sages, fans of soft music, and those who might have a yurt in their backyard. However, I discovered a wealth of scientific studies demonstrating that meditation offers a surprisingly vast array of health advantages, such as lowering blood pressure, enhancing immune response, and essentially rewiring our brains for happiness. Plus, I learned that it doesn’t require sitting cross-legged or chanting in a foreign language! (If anyone’s interested, I’ve put together straightforward meditation instructions.)
I began with just five minutes daily, and I quickly noticed three benefits:
- Improved focus,
- A deeper sense of calm, and
- A remarkable knack for pulling myself out of negative thought spirals and back to the present moment.
Over time, after practicing for about four years and now dedicating 35 minutes each day, I experienced a significant shift: I changed my relationship with the voice in my head. You know that voice—it’s the one that tempts you to snack when you’re not hungry or distracts you during conversations. The ability to observe your thoughts without reacting impulsively—often referred to as “mindfulness”—is nothing short of a superpower.
I’m not claiming that meditation is a cure-all. I still make plenty of mistakes, as anyone close to me can confirm. But this practice has undeniably made me happier, more relaxed, and kinder. In fact, I wrote an entire book aimed at making meditation appealing to those who don’t fit the traditional mold, called 10% Happier.
What Have You Learned About Developing Healthy Habits?
What have you learned about developing healthy habits that you wish you knew at 18? I’ll admit, my grasp of habit theory is minimal, which is why I’m eagerly awaiting your upcoming book. A neuroscientist buddy once told me, “The brain is a pleasure-seeking machine.” We tend to engage in activities that bring us joy. What I understand now about forming habits that I didn’t grasp as a teenager is that I can only create or break habits when there’s strong self-interest involved—when it feels good either directly or indirectly.
Take meditation, for instance. I was driven to start because of the scientific evidence supporting its benefits. Although meditating can be challenging, the positive effects I experience in my daily life are unmistakable.
Do You Have Any Habits That Get in the Way of Your Happiness?
Yes! Two major ones:
- Multitasking: Despite knowing that our brains can’t focus on multiple tasks simultaneously and that multitasking greatly hampers productivity, I frequently find myself juggling emails, social media, phone calls, and my actual work.
- Mindless eating: While I strive to eat healthily, I have a weakness for pasta, cheeseburgers, and cookies. When I indulge, it’s often hard to stop, leading to feelings of shame afterward.
Theoretically, meditation should help with these issues since it encourages focused attention on whatever I’m doing at the moment. Yet, I still face challenges. Hence the title of my book (10%, etc.).
Which Habits Matter Most to You for Health, Creativity, and Productivity?
Aside from meditation, exercise is crucial for my happiness (and spending time with my partner, Emily, does that count as a habit?). When I skip workouts, I start feeling restless. Sometimes, Emily even insists I go for a run when my energy levels dip.
Have You Ever Successfully Broken an Unhealthy Habit?
In my early thirties, I worked as a reporter for ABC News, covering war zones including Afghanistan and Iraq. After one particularly intense assignment in Baghdad, I fell into depression and began self-medicating with cocaine and ecstasy. It wasn’t excessive, mostly limited to weekends, but it was my attempt to recreate the adrenaline rush of war.
The drugs led to increased adrenaline levels, which caused a panic attack while I was live on television. After consulting a doctor, I realized I needed to quit drugs immediately. Faced with the risk of losing my career, breaking this habit became a clear choice. Although it was tough, I stopped right away, aided by my doctor, with self-interest being my main motivator.
What Interferes with Your Ability to Maintain Healthy Habits?
The biggest hurdle for both my meditation and exercise routines is frequent work travel, especially during breaking news coverage. During significant events, like the Newtown shooting or the Boston Marathon bombings, we barely have time to eat or sleep, let alone meditate or exercise. During these high-pressure times, my inner voice often becomes more critical, and I find myself indulging in unhealthy snacks.
That said, I genuinely love my job and the thrill of reporting on major stories. It’s a trade-off I’m willing to accept.
Have You Ever Made a Sudden or Dramatic Change in Your Habits?
Interestingly, I had a “flash change” after graduating high school. While driving to meet friends, I spontaneously decided to commit to my studies after years of mediocrity. The following year, when my father saw my college report card, he was moved to tears.
Despite my academic success, it hasn’t significantly impacted my career in television news. However, that moment in my car sparked a lasting habit of hard work and ambition. Ironically, my drive to excel sometimes led me into war zones without considering the psychological toll. Meditation has helped me find a balance between ambition and stress—it’s entirely possible to pursue your goals without losing yourself in the process.
Has Anyone Influenced Your Habits Significantly?
My partner, Emily, and I have a significant impact on each other’s habits. When one of us adopts a healthier lifestyle, the other usually follows suit. She has a more substantial influence on me than I do on her, as I’ve learned to avoid pushing meditation on her.
The most valuable habit I’ve picked up from Emily, a compassionate doctor, is kindness. In the past, I occasionally snapped at unhelpful customer service staff or ignored those around me. After embracing meditation, I discovered compassion meditation—a practice aimed at fostering kindness, which initially seemed overly sentimental. Motivated by Emily’s gentle guidance and scientific evidence showcasing its benefits, I decided to give it a try.
It transformed my life. I’m not claiming to be perfect; instead, I prioritize being kind, attempting to understand others’ perspectives, and minimizing arguments. It feels good, reinforcing the idea of self-interest.
Not being a jerk is the most fulfilling habit I’ve adopted. The beauty of meditation is that it allows us to “exercise” our minds, reshaping even the more challenging aspects of our personalities. We can rewire our brains for better outcomes.
This reminds me of a sign I once saw in my favorite record store in Boston: “All dates can change. So can you.”
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In Summary
Developing a healthy relationship with your inner voice can lead to greater happiness and fulfillment. By incorporating practices like meditation and prioritizing kindness, you can reshape your habits and improve your overall well-being.
Keyphrase: Developing a healthy relationship with your inner voice
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