A while back, I found myself in a café bathroom line where I struck up a conversation with a woman named Lisa. I complimented her shoes, and as my tendency to redirect conversations kicked in, we ended up discussing my own footwear. She seemed warm and friendly, and I thought we might hit it off as friends.
As time passed, I’d occasionally spot Lisa around town. Sometimes she greeted me, but other times she didn’t, at least that’s how I perceived it. I started questioning whether she was even the same person I initially met—after all, in a town of just 200, it’s unlikely anyone else would look like her. Eventually, I convinced myself that I had never truly interacted with her. I stopped saying hello and even ceased looking for her acknowledgment. Gradually, I concluded that she must not like me.
Isn’t it curious how we rationalize our distance from others? It’s as if we believe the other person is the one at fault. This mindset isn’t limited to casual acquaintances; even long-time friends can fall into similar traps. I’ve often been the mediator between friends who express mutual grievances, both convinced the other is to blame for their lack of connection.
We all have our reasons for feeling slighted. Perhaps it’s the thrill of reliving childhood insecurities or just a convenient excuse to avoid putting ourselves out there. It could even be a misguided strategy to prove ourselves right—if we assume no one likes us, then we can validate our fears. In reality, many people might still appreciate us, regardless of our self-doubts.
I didn’t escape this cycle easily. Lisa reached out to me via Facebook, perhaps influenced by my previous article lamenting my lack of friends. Her message was surprising: “I wouldn’t have guessed you were someone who needed friends.” This acknowledgment made me reflect on my ability to hide my true self, yet it also brought a strange sense of happiness. There’s a comfort in knowing we can protect ourselves, but connecting with others is equally rewarding.
As adults, we often assume everyone is too preoccupied with their own lives—finances, parenting, health—to concern themselves with us. So, why not take a leap and assume that most people think we’re fantastic?
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In summary, we often misinterpret others’ actions and let our insecurities dictate our perceptions of social interactions. Instead of assuming rejection, we might find it beneficial to embrace optimism and take the initiative in fostering connections.
Keyphrase: social interactions and self-perception
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