Updated: Aug. 6, 2016
Originally Published: Sep. 4, 2014
Contrary to what many might assume, I was overjoyed when my doctor announced in the delivery room that a third little girl would soon be joining our family. Having grown up with two sisters, I was eager for my three daughters to dive into the exhilarating chaos of an emotionally charged, melodramatic, all-female whirlwind. Plus, we already had all the girl gear, which made life simpler—I’m a big fan of logistical efficiency in our home. We even had a name picked out for our hypothetical son—Jessica—who would have looked adorable in a pink gingham Lilly Pulitzer dress coming home from the hospital.
But enough about our imaginary son Jessica. Here’s what I’ve learned about raising girls:
1. Girls Can Be Just as Gross as Boys
When I spend time with my nephews, I’m surrounded by a range of bodily functions—farts, burps, and spontaneous bathroom breaks. It’s all very natural for boys. However, it’s a different experience when my daughter, adorned with ribbons in her hair, lifts her leg at the dinner table and lets out a fart that could rival a foghorn. My eldest has even mastered farting on command, which once led to a wardrobe change after a particularly ambitious attempt. I can’t exactly rush to her aid when my 3-year-old comes waddling out of the bathroom, bloomers around her ankles, shouting, “Hey everyone! Come check out my giant turd!” I still believe in maintaining a little mystery at home.
2. Dressing Three Little Girls is a Daily Puzzle
Outfitting my daughters is like trying to solve a riddle that changes every minute, all while a timer ticks ominously. I’ve given up on providing input during their clothing decisions. My sole responsibility is to ensure they are covered and don’t smell like urine. “You chose this cute dress at the store,” I’ll remind them, only to be met with protests about the fabric’s itchiness. Once they settle on an outfit, I tiptoe downstairs, praying that I won’t disrupt the fragile peace they’ve found. Of course, they often change again multiple times before breakfast and sometimes even during the night.
3. Glitter is Pure Evil
Treat glitter like it’s a biohazard. It looks innocent enough, but once it enters your home, it multiplies uncontrollably, coating every surface. I learned this the hard way after putting away a cute headband, only to discover I had inadvertently attended a meeting with glitter all over my face. Trust me—any item that comes into your house with glitter should be disposed of immediately.
4. Hair is a Battle
Hair care is a daunting task. It’s tough to remember to take my calming medicine in time for the post-bath detangling session. Just when I thought I had mastered the ponytail, I stumbled upon a YouTube channel promising easy hairstyles. Spoiler: they are not easy for me. After a disastrous attempt at a French braid that ended with my daughter in tears, I realized I was far from a hair guru. Forget intricate styles; at this point, I just want to avoid chaos.
5. Body Image is a Fragile Thing
Recently, my daughter asked if her outfit would make her beautiful enough for her friends. Yikes. I had already dodged questions about my makeup routine and Spanx, and now I had to navigate this one without sounding hypocritical. I told her that true friends appreciate her for who she is, not what she wears—but I may have slipped in a reminder about the importance of scrubbing the baseboards.
6. Emotions are a Weapon
Boys express their anger with punches; girls tend to plot. I remember a huge fight with my sister that ended with her retaliating in a most creative way. While boys might hit each other, girls often resort to more imaginative forms of revenge, which can be far more devastating.
7. The Fancy Factor
After dinner one night, the girls decided to host a “dance show.” What came down the stairs was a sight to behold—sparkles and sequins galore, with lip gloss smeared everywhere. They strutted their stuff while my husband and I sat in stunned silence, wondering where they had learned such moves. I might have inadvertently taught them a thing or two during dinner prep.
8. It’s Incredibly Fun
At the end of the day, girlhood is full of joy—nail painting, dance recitals, and fairy houses. Although I know the day will come when they’d rather not be seen with me, for now, I relish these girly moments. I encourage everyone to stage their own whimsical events—who wouldn’t want to dress up and throw a stuffed animal wedding?
In summary, raising girls is a delightful yet chaotic adventure, filled with challenges and moments of pure joy. With each day, I learn more about the intricacies of their world, from glitter disasters to emotional battles. It’s a wild ride, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
For those interested in similar topics, check out this resource about home insemination, and for more information about pregnancy, visit the Mayo Clinic’s page on IVF.
Keyphrase: Raising Daughters
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