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A Guide to Identifying Sanctimommies

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ModernFamilyBlog
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SANCTIMOMMY, Noun

pregnant woman sitting on bed in blue dress with coffee muglow cost ivf

A self-righteous, condescending individual who flaunts their parenting choices through subtle digs at others’ approaches.

Synonyms:

Know-it-all, Fun Sucker, Pearl Clutcher, Pompous

Physical Characteristics:

While Sanctimommies cannot be identified by their looks—since their behavior spans across various demographics—there are five common gestures to watch for:

  1. Raised eyebrows
  2. Puckered lips
  3. Pointing fingers
  4. Loud sighs
  5. Tensed buttocks

Habitats:

Sanctimommies can often be found in places where they can dispense their unsolicited advice and signal their superiority. Common locales include:

  1. Parks
  2. Playgroups
  3. Grocery stores
  4. Target (both in the parking lot and within the aisles)
  5. Parenting websites (especially humor sites with lively comment sections)
  6. Facebook
  7. Daycare centers
  8. Schools (especially during drop-off, pick-up, recitals, or open houses)
  9. Birthday celebrations

Social Behaviors:

These individuals thrive in social situations, often positioning themselves at the center of group interactions. They have an uncanny knack for steering conversations to revolve around their own experiences. Here are five examples of their typical obnoxious comments:

  1. “You should feel SO BLESSED.”
  2. “MY kids would never act like that.”
  3. “I didn’t even bother reading the article; it’s just so dumb.”
  4. “I’ve never experienced this, it’s ridiculous.”
  5. “Ugh. This is just stupid.”

Conversational Triggers:

Certain topics can provoke a Sanctimommy to interject their opinions and assert their parenting philosophies. Be wary of bringing up:

  1. Any parenting-related posts online.
  2. Discussions about vaccines, organic foods, screen time, or sleep training.
  3. The idea that parenting is tiring.
  4. The need for hiring a babysitter.
  5. Nostalgia for life before kids.
  6. Acknowledging that you don’t always feel SO BLESSED.
  7. Mentioning it’s 2 p.m. and wondering if you can have some wine yet.
  8. Joking about the challenges of parenting.
  9. Approaching parenting without a well-documented philosophy.
  10. Sharing e-cards that humorously critique parenthood on Facebook.

CAUTION:

Approach Sanctimommies with care. While they’re not physically threatening, they can display erratic behavior when their views are questioned. Signs of agitation may include self-pitying remarks, preaching, excessive use of ALL CAPS, citing celebrities in poorly constructed arguments, and dismissing the topic at hand as foolish.

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In summary, Sanctimommies are distinctive figures in the parenting realm, often found in various social settings, armed with unsolicited advice and a penchant for self-promotion. Recognizing their behavior can help navigate discussions and interactions without triggering their defensive instincts.

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