As mothers, we’re all in this together, and sometimes that means giving each other a little nudge when it comes to our parenting choices. Here are five things we really wish would cease:
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Stop Seeking Permission from Your Kids
“Sweetie, can we go to the park now?” “Is it okay if we have dinner?” “Should we clean up first?” I often hear parents soliciting approval from their little ones, and I can’t help but wonder why. Why are you asking a four-year-old if it’s time to wash their hands? Most of the time, we don’t need to give kids a vote on everything. If I were to take my kids’ opinions into account constantly, my days would consist of playing video games or swimming, while I’m the one who needs to manage our schedule. So, let’s wrap those sentences up with a period instead of a question mark. Save the inquiries for those rare moments when their input is actually needed. -
Avoid Talking About Yourself in the Third Person
In the early years, phrases like “Mommy loves you” or “Daddy is going to read a story” help little ones learn who you are. But once your child hits two, it’s time to move on. I overheard a 45-year-old man say, “Daddy is going to make dinner now,” to his eight-year-old. Not only does this undermine the child’s maturity, but it also limits your identity. Your child should know you’re not just “dad”; you’re also a friend, a professional, and a person with your own unique qualities. -
Stop Making Empty Threats
“I’m going to take that toy away if you keep playing with it indoors!” If you’re just going to repeat this without follow-through, please just keep quiet. Kids are masters at detecting insincerity. It’s far better to say nothing than to issue hollow threats repeatedly. If you’re genuinely not in the mood to enforce consequences, don’t say anything at all. That way, when you do speak up, your words will carry weight. Show your children that you mean what you say. -
Take Responsibility for Your Kids’ Choices
I was at a friend’s house during dinner prep and asked what the kids were drinking. The four-year-old was on his third glass of sugary juice, while the older sibling wanted soda. When I pointed this out, my friend shrugged it off, claiming, “They just love it.” But let’s be real: if those drinks weren’t in the house, the kids wouldn’t be consuming them. If you struggle with saying no in the store, maybe it’s best to leave the kids at home. At the very least, don’t blame them for being kids. By offering only water, I assure you they will drink it eventually. -
Don’t Cater to Their Pickiness in Public
I invited a family over, and hours before their arrival, I received multiple texts asking about the food I’d prepared because the kids were picky. While it’s okay to accommodate allergies, indulging a picky eater only teaches them to be difficult. I have a seven-year-old who won’t touch pizza, so I used to bring her a bagel to eat while her friends enjoyed their meals. But that changed. Now, she knows that being picky doesn’t mean it’s everyone else’s problem. I prepare her with a snack beforehand and remind her to graciously accept whatever is served. If she doesn’t want it, she simply doesn’t comment.
Take it from someone who used to ask for permission and make empty threats: these behaviors need to stop. We owe it to each other as moms to hold ourselves accountable.
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In summary, we can all improve our parenting habits for the sake of our children and our sanity. Let’s support one another in becoming the best versions of ourselves.
Keyphrase: Parenting habits to stop
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