Public urination. Questionable fashion choices. Incomprehensible chatter. Am I discussing a preschooler or a Kardashian? Spoiler alert: they both share these traits. I might as well call my little girl Mini K to align her with the likes of Kris, Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kylie, and Kendall. After all, being in Pre-K is practically a sign of Kardashian training, right?
Here are seven delightful ways my daughter mirrors the reality TV royalty.
1. All Eyes on Me!
She craves our undivided attention, no matter how trivial her antics. “Look at me!” (She’s gone down the slide for the hundredth time.) “Watch me, Mommy!” (She’s spinning until she tumbles over.) “See what I did!” (She’s just had a successful trip to the potty.) Every time she leaps from the coffee table onto a couch cushion, I’m expected to react in awe. While her stunts may seem ordinary, occasionally my heart races: Is she really going to try to climb onto the windowsill and vault over her toy castle like a toddler version of an action hero? Often, I’m genuinely impressed by her skills. (That’s definitely from her dad.)
2. The Center of Attention
In her world, no one is as fascinating as she is. Just refer back to point one. Every mirror is her best friend. That gourmet meal I slaved over? No thanks! Instead, she places it on the floor for our cat, eagerly waiting for “something better.”
3. TMI Mode Activated
From brief announcements like “I’m gassy” to lengthy, winding stories, my preschooler is the queen of oversharing. Picture her bouncing on her toes, clutching her diaper, exclaiming, “Pee-pee, pee-pee!” (Guess where she got that from?)
4. Drama Queen Extraordinaire
When there’s a hint of drama, she maximizes every ounce. If she stubs her toe, prepare for an avalanche of Band-Aids. Accidentally hurt her feelings? Brace yourself for a tirade that could rival any soap opera, and I mean rival.
5. Commitment Issues
Dora? No, Paw Patrol! No, wait, Dora again! Her preferences change more often than the weather. It’s nearly as unpredictable as Kris Humphries’ relationships.
6. Attention-Seeking Yet Privacy-Loving
She’s all about the spotlight, but only on her terms. The mood dictates her desire for attention: sometimes she loves it, and other times she wants to hide.
7. Potty Training Prodigy
My little one has mastered public urination. And yes, she’s done it in her sleep. I can’t help but think of Kourtney’s partner, Scott Disick, who’s famous for relieving himself in less-than-ideal places. At least my daughter is now potty trained!
Speaking of “royal” titles, Scott once purchased one during a trip to England to avoid feeling like “some peasant.” He missed a perfect opportunity to be a “Kount,” but hey, he’s not blood-related. He’s a riddle wrapped in a mystery: brimming with confidence yet often clueless, but occasionally offering nuggets of wisdom that seem comically profound.
There’s even a story about him making a terminally ill woman’s wish come true by visiting her after she requested to meet him. To me, the only thing more tragic than being terminally ill is wanting to meet Scott Disick, but who am I to judge? Whether it was for PR or not, he did show up.
In summary, whether it’s a preschooler or a Kardashian, both are attention-seeking, quirky, and oddly captivating. One thing’s for certain: keeping up with either is a full-time job.
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