10 Things I Wish I Could Say When My Kids Step on Their Toys

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As a parent, I can’t count how many times I’ve stepped on a toy that’s been stealthily left near the stairs or hidden in the carpet. Kids have a remarkable ability to drop toys in places that seem custom-designed to target the arch of my foot. Who knew that parenting would come with the added hazard of rogue action figures and building blocks?

I try to clean up the toys as I navigate my day. After all, I want to avoid a trip to the emergency room before hitting my forties. But with tiny plastic animals and puzzle pieces lying in wait, it’s a constant battle. My kids do help out, but their version of cleaning often consists of shifting cushions around rather than picking up the Polly Pocket shoes that are just begging for a foot to land on them. And whenever I offer sage advice like, “If you don’t pick up that Lego piece, it’s going to end up in your foot,” they just giggle as if they’re in on some inside joke. Spoiler alert: I’m the punchline.

On those rare occasions when my kids actually step on their toys, I have a million thoughts running through my head. Here are ten of those snarky comments I’d love to express:

  1. I told you so!
  2. Ouch! That must hurt!
  3. Yes! (Cue the victory dance.)
  4. Ha! Justice served!
  5. Neener, neener, neeeeener!
  6. Tough break for you right now.
  7. This happens to me all the time—just walk it off!
  8. Whoa! That’s GOT to sting!
  9. Buck up, kiddo!
  10. Seriously? That one wasn’t even hidden!

Of course, I don’t actually say any of these things. Instead, I empathize because, let’s face it, who understands their pain better than the one who steps on toys on a weekly—sometimes daily—basis? I know how it feels to have a toy like a metal Dusty Crophopper launch a surprise attack on my foot. It hurts! So, I do what any good parent would do: I comfort them, rub their sore feet, wipe away their tears, and help them put the offending toy away.

All the while, I’m silently saying: Neener, neener, neeeeener. Because, after all, that’s what good parenting is all about.

For more parenting insights, check out our post on how to navigate life with kids and learn more about home insemination kits at Make a Mom or explore the benefits of using a Cryobaby® kit. For additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination, visit Cleveland Clinic’s guide.

In conclusion, stepping on toys is an inevitable part of parenthood that we all endure, and while it may be painful, it’s often accompanied by a touch of humor and a whole lot of love.

Keyphrase: Kids stepping on toys

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