10 Witty Comebacks for When Critics Target Public Breastfeeding

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As a mother who has navigated the challenges of breastfeeding four little ones in just five years, I’ve faced my fair share of critics. During those exhausting days, I often found myself lost in a hormonal haze, struggling to come up with clever retorts to those who felt entitled to comment on my public breastfeeding. When someone suggested, “Why not do that at home?” I could only reply with, “Why don’t you mind your own business?”—which, of course, led to a wave of guilt for saying the F word in front of my child.

Now that I’ve emerged from that whirlwind of hormones, I’m here to offer some snappy comebacks for breastfeeding moms facing unsolicited opinions:

  1. If you can flaunt boobs to sell beer and cars, I can certainly use mine for nourishment.
  2. Do you enjoy your meals while sitting on the toilet?
  3. Great suggestion! You can borrow my blanket to cover your head.
  4. Sorry to disappoint, but boobs serve a purpose beyond just entertainment.
  5. Thank goodness you have a neck—look away!
  6. Nursing is actually easier for me; I can’t juggle a bottle and a wine glass at the same time!
  7. Oops! I accidentally held my baby while my 36Longs fell into his mouth!
  8. If you’re on the hunt for a snack, just wait your turn.
  9. If you think this is disturbing, you should have seen the placenta. Oh, I have pictures if you’re interested!
  10. Trust me, no one is more shocked by my giant areola than I am!

If you find yourself in a breastfeeding frenzy, take a deep breath and memorize these comebacks. Being a devoted mother means being ready for anything, especially when critics decide to chime in. And if you’re one of those critics—well, let’s just say, you might want to rethink your approach.

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Summary:

Navigating public breastfeeding can be a challenge, especially when faced with unsolicited criticism. This article provides ten witty comebacks for breastfeeding moms to help them respond to comments with confidence and humor.

Keyphrase: public breastfeeding comebacks
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