I finally have a response to the question I’m bombarded with daily: “When are you having that baby?” The answer? Four days from now! It could be sooner, but the latest will definitely be in four days. How do I know? That’s the day my doctor will induce me. It’s the one glimmer of hope that keeps me from packing my bags and retreating to a cave until my little one arrives.
This is my first (and likely only) pregnancy, and I have to say, it’s been quite a ride. I’ve heard tales of people relishing the experience; I even met a woman who adored every moment of it. But I just can’t wrap my head around that notion. My intense dislike for being pregnant is even more perplexing when I try to rationalize it.
No, I didn’t suffer from morning sickness or any other ailment.
No, it hasn’t been an unbearably hot summer.
No, I’m not going through this alone; my partner, his family, my family, and our friends have all been incredibly supportive. My husband has practically earned a halo for his patience. So, that’s not why I’m finding pregnancy so challenging.
And yes, I will absolutely love my child when he arrives. That’s crucial to clarify. Do I enjoy being pregnant? Absolutely not. Do I love my baby and know I’ll continue to love him once he’s born? Without a doubt.
As my belly grew, I became increasingly irritated by unsolicited questions, advice, and horror stories. In the last few weeks, they’ve provoked a new, unsettling reaction that has made even simple grocery store trips feel hazardous. Before I scheduled my induction, the innocuous “When are you due?” would send my mind into a tailspin. It felt like such a distant future, and every day I had to negotiate with myself that it wouldn’t be today just to muster the energy to get out of bed. So, why would a stranger remind me of how far away my due date felt?
I’d immediately go on the defensive, making it impossible to respond with something polite like “August 4th.” Instead, I would blurt out things like “Who knows?” or “Not soon enough.” Once, in the cereal aisle, I was so stunned I just froze, leaving the questioner awkwardly wondering whether I was completely oblivious to my impending motherhood.
But now, in this post-induction-date era, I can confidently say, “On or before July 28th!” And I can say it with a genuine grin. I’m actually smiling, people! However, this newfound joy is met with an unexpected wave of judgment. “Oh, you’re inducing? That’s not a good idea.” Yes, yes it is. I wholeheartedly want to induce.
It seems there’s a stigma around inducing that I was blissfully unaware of. Some people think it indicates selfishness or a lack of concern for my child’s well-being. (Did I mention I scheduled this with my healthcare provider, someone who specializes in these decisions?) While I anticipated some disapproval, I didn’t expect it to come from so many people. Hello, can’t you see the smile on my face? Clearly, I’m excited about this; why rain on my parade?
So here I am, just four days away from meeting my son, the day I’ll finally stop being pregnant and, yes, the day I’m inducing. I’ve retreated from public life. I’m not going to work or out socializing. Instead, I’m clinging to the calendar for dear life. Because by or before the 28th, this will all be over, and you bet I’m inducing!
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Summary:
The author shares her experience with pregnancy, expressing her dislike for it despite being excited about welcoming her child. After scheduling an induction, she finds joy in knowing her baby will arrive soon, but is taken aback by the judgment she faces for choosing to induce. With just a few days to go, she reflects on her journey and the mixed reactions from those around her.
Keyphrase: Inducing Pregnancy
Tags: [“home insemination kit”, “home insemination syringe”, “self insemination”]