Back in the vibrant ’70s of Southern California, my mother embarked on a bold experiment with me and my brother. She handed me toy trucks while offering him dolls, confident that our preferences were purely socially constructed. She believed that our biological inclinations had no say in our choices between the classic Barbie and rugged Tonka.
In our case, however, my mother missed the mark. I found myself drawn to so-called “girl” toys, while my brother hurriedly reclaimed his “boy” toys with a dismissive eye roll.
Admittedly, her study lacked scientific rigor—this was the era when she experimented with carob chips (I still shudder at the memory of their chalky taste) and placed a brass pyramid over her bed, complete with little brass pyramids for us to wear on our heads, purportedly to help align our energies. But she was onto something important.
Fast forward to today, and despite our increased understanding of gender dynamics, the landscape hasn’t changed all that much. My 5-year-old daughter is beginning to reject toys she deems “for boys.” It’s evident from her perspective: “girl” items are typically adorned with pink, frills, and glitter, while “boy” items are draped in navy, black, and metallic tones. The constant barrage of societal messages nudges her toward the “girl” category, which I find just as unpalatable as those carob chips. Why are we still conditioning our kids to think in such binary terms? Must it always be princesses versus trucks?
I certainly don’t want my children to limit their options based on their gender—especially not my daughter. Here are five actionable strategies to help her embrace a broader range of interests:
1. Engage in Sports Together
It’s easy to assume that sports are a boys’ domain, especially if Mom isn’t a fan (like in my case). Last weekend, while watching the U.S. Women’s National Team triumph in the World Cup, my daughter excitedly asked, “Are they really all girls?” I’ve encouraged my partner to rewind plays and explain the game to our daughter just like he does for our son. Sure, it means she’s learning some colorful language, but so be it!
2. Opt for Gender-Neutral Clothing
Steer clear of the pink ruffles and sparkly embellishments whenever possible. Brands like Primary offer stylish, colorful clothing that doesn’t scream, “SOCIETY HAS DEFINED MY GENDER.” Plus, everything is priced under $25!
3. Introduce Coding
It’s 2023—programmers are shaping our world. We should want our daughters to be part of that revolution! Explore resources like Girls Who Code, CoderDojo, or local coding camps. Otherwise, we risk a future filled with only Barbie-themed apps.
4. Foster Cross-Gender Friendships
Encourage your daughters to befriend boys, and please, skip the all-girl birthday parties. My son’s best friend is a girl they met at four, and their friendship has flourished. While they may drift apart as they grow, there’s no reason they can’t maintain their bond.
5. Provide Diverse Reading Material
Hand your girls a mix of books like Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Big Nate, Hardy Boys, and Tintin, alongside graphic novels. Just because a book features cupcakes and lip gloss doesn’t mean it’s the only option for her reading list. For older girls, simply mention that reading about boys can be a great way to understand them—this should spark their interest!
In summary, it’s essential to help our daughters break free from the constraints of traditional gender roles. By engaging in diverse activities, choosing neutral clothing, embracing technology, promoting friendships across genders, and diversifying reading material, we can empower them to explore their interests without limitations.
Keyphrase: Strategies for Parents of Girls
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