When I come across the phrase “given up” in the context of adoption, it truly strikes a chord. My son, Max, has not been “given up.” I find the term deeply troubling when discussing adoption and children.
You might give up caffeine or a favorite pair of jeans, but you never surrender a child. Strangers often approach me, asking, “Why did Max’s birth parents give him up?” My response is always firm: “They didn’t.”
The Complexity of Birth Parents’ Choices
There are countless reasons why individuals may feel unable to parent. Some circumstances are heartbreaking, while others stem from selfishness, but many are acts of tremendous selflessness. Birth parents make the heart-wrenching choice to create a plan for their child’s future, believing it to be the best path—even when it’s fraught with pain. The resilience it takes to make that decision is nothing short of extraordinary. Most birth parents do not simply “give up” their children. This is particularly true in international adoptions, where the complexities can be overwhelming and, in some cases, even unethical.
Protecting Max from Hurtful Language
While I cannot completely shield Max from every potentially hurtful comment or situation, I strive to do my best. I may not be able to prevent him from experiencing confusion or anger, but I try hard to ensure he never asks, “Why was I given up?” Because I know in my heart that he wasn’t.
Further Reading and Resources
For more insights on navigating the journey of parenthood, check out this post on couples’ fertility journey for intracervical insemination, which we discuss in our other blog. Additionally, if you’re exploring at-home options, this 21-piece kit is a fantastic resource. For those interested in pregnancy and home insemination, this article on IVF offers excellent information.
Conclusion
In summary, the language we use around adoption matters. It’s important to recognize the strength of birth parents and the choices they make, rather than reducing their actions to the phrase “given up.”
Keyphrase: adoption language
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