In the realm of parenting literature, Ylonda Gault Caviness stands out with her memoir, Child, Please: How Mama’s Old-School Lessons Helped Me Check Myself Before I Wrecked Myself. Recently, we had the chance to chat with Caviness, who graciously participated in our Mid Questionnaire. We were thrilled to learn that she has a spot-on impression of Cookie from Empire and has a secret friendship with Kelly Ripa.
What new skill do you aspire to acquire?
I’m eager to master a team sport—any sport, really! I dream of earning a varsity letter, and I’m curious if there are middle-aged varsity teams. Unlike my awkward teenage years, I feel pretty confident now (at least in my mind). I’ve always been a bit of a nerd, largely thanks to my unusually long arms, but I’m convinced I could excel at lay-ups or fastballs. After over 40 years, I’m still waiting to grow into my body.
What trip have you been longing to take?
Honestly, I’d love to visit one of those upscale eyebrow threading places. I’ve never had my brows done professionally, and it seems indulgent. Since Empire debuted, I’ve been harboring a serious admiration for Taraji P. Henson’s eyebrows—it’s on a Love Jones level! I’m not sure my brows could ever compete, but I’m practicing my Cookie swagger. Beyond that, I’ve been wanting to take a family trip to South Africa for ages.
Who deserves a thank you note?
I owe a huge thank you to all my teachers, especially one person who stands out: a man named Frank who sat in his lawn chair across the street from us when we moved to an all-white neighborhood in the ’70s. He never said much, but one Fourth of July, he invited me to join a parade he organized for the neighborhood kids. Initially hesitant, I eventually embraced the experience, wearing a red, white, and blue halter top, waving flags and enjoying bomb pops. He truly welcomed me into the community, and I wish I had expressed my gratitude.
What were your Friday nights like at 12 years old?
Friday nights were spent watching Sanford and Son with my siblings on a black-and-white TV, thanks to my older brother’s clever wire hanger antenna. He’d grumble as we reenacted our favorite lines, and I probably ended the night diving into our cherished Encyclopedia Britannica. Those books were a testament to my mother’s investment in our education.
Whom did you craft your first mixtape for?
My first mixtape was for my boyfriend, a cool guy named Tony, who played bass in his brother’s band. It was filled with Earth, Wind & Fire songs, Phil Collins, and a sprinkle of Steely Dan. I can still hear the melody of “In the Air Tonight” in my head. Back then, I was the queen of mixtapes, crafting the perfect “quiet storm” vibe. In college, I even dabbled as a campus radio DJ, feeling quite sophisticated.
What childhood story do you wish would stop being told?
There’s a family tale that never fails to resurface: as a toddler, I apparently expressed my disdain for Richard Nixon by turning my back to the TV and giving a playful pat. My granddad, who I spent most of my time with, found it hilarious, and now it’s a running joke at family gatherings.
What advice would you give to your 25-year-old self?
I’d tell my younger self, “You’re on the right path to finding your true place.” Maya Angelou once said this to an audience, but it resonated with me personally. I’d also advise her to stop obsessing over her thighs—she’s going to wish for that body in 20 years!
What’s your specialty in the kitchen?
Without a doubt, my hot wings reign supreme! Crispy on the outside, tender on the inside, and packed with flavor that’ll make you want to slap your mama. My secret preparation technique ensures they’re never soggy and always bursting with taste.
What’s your personal motto?
I channel Missy Elliott’s “Up Jumps da Boogie” to gear myself up for whatever lies ahead. It’s my go-to anthem, a little mantra that nudges me to tackle the day. On days when words evade me, I find comfort in repeating her catchy phrases, which somehow help me find clarity.
What show lifts your spirits?
I can’t help but smile when I catch the first moments of Kelly and Michael. On Wednesdays, when I work from home, I savor my coffee while watching their banter. They seem to genuinely enjoy each other, and it’s a delightful escape. I like to imagine if I lived in the city, I’d be out in fabulous heels like Kelly, my secret best friend.
In summary, Ylonda Gault Caviness is a vibrant voice in parenting literature, blending humor and nostalgia while inspiring others through her experiences. For more on home insemination, check out resources like the CDC for pregnancy information and consider exploring options like the Babymaker home intracervical insemination syringe kit combo or the Babymaker at-home insemination kit, both excellent choices for aspiring parents.
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