In the early days of motherhood, I vividly recall my son, Ethan, expressing a desire for undivided attention—what he referred to as “just us” time. Those moments were sacred, especially when his sister was born just shy of his second birthday. For nearly two years, it felt like it was just the two of us against the world. Rarely did we have a babysitter; I was almost always by his side. He insists he remembers those days, claiming that the arrival of his sister changed everything. When a baby brother joined the family a year later, Ethan began asking when we could return to those cherished days of solitude.
A wise person once shared that introducing a new sibling can evoke feelings akin to a partner bringing home a new significant other. At the time, I dismissed this notion as exaggerated, yet it resonated with Ethan’s sentiments.
A Poignant Moment
I recall a particularly poignant moment one summer afternoon. I was nursing his sister while pregnant with another sibling. Ethan stood by the window, turned to face me, and his expression reflected a sadness I had never seen before. His baseball cap and tiny red sneakers made him look so much like the little boy he was just a short while ago. I smiled, expecting him to rush over for a hug, but he simply turned back to the window, lost in thought—a scene that struck me deeply.
After finishing with his sister, we settled into our large leather chair, reading a board book together. The sunlight streamed in, causing him to squint, yet he chose to stay put. “Just us, Mama,” he said, perhaps apprehensive that moving would end our moment together. He reveled in that time, and so did I.
The Challenge of Finding Time
As more siblings came along, “just us” moments dwindled significantly. The chaos of family life made it difficult for me to carve out special time with him. Finding a moment of privacy—let alone time alone with one child—seemed impossible. Occasionally, we managed to escape together, but more often than not, I was too exhausted after my husband returned home. Most evenings found me in pajamas by 4 p.m., ready to prepare dinner and usher the kids to bed.
Over the years, Ethan often mentioned how much he valued our time alone. If it had been a while, he’d remind me that we needed to reconnect. “I know,” I’d reply, “I love it too, Ethan.” I wanted him to know that those moments were not forgotten.
Growing Independence
Now that he’s older, it has become easier to find time just for us, as my children have grown more independent. Ironically, it’s Ethan who struggles to find time for me these days. At 13, he is busy navigating his own world, as he should be. I find myself yearning for our “just us” moments now, standing by the window watching as he seeks his next adventure. I’m the one who doesn’t mind the sun in my eyes as I cherish every second spent beside him.
This boy, who once clung to my side, now often evades my attempts for affection. Yet, when he does find a moment for me—those rare instances when he chooses to spend time with his “old mom”—we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Even with his cool demeanor, he still admits, “Mom, I really like it when it is just us.” In response, I affirm, “Yes, me too, just us.” However, he won’t fully grasp the significance of these moments until he experiences parenthood himself, understanding the invaluable nature of “just us” time.
Resources for Family Building
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Conclusion
In summary, the evolution of my relationship with Ethan reveals the importance of dedicated time together as he transitions into adolescence. Moments that were once his request are now mine—showcasing the bittersweet nature of parenting as children grow and seek independence.
Keyphrase: “just us time with kids
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