Dear Santa,
This year, I’ve embraced my natural lifestyle with essential oils, recycling efforts, and homemade bone broth. As a dedicated crunchy mom, I believe I’ve earned a few special items from my holiday wish list. Understanding that it can be tough to shop for someone with a penchant for all things natural, I’ve compiled a selection of gifts I’m hoping to receive this Christmas/Solstice.
Chickens and a Chicken Coop
Santa, if you can deliver just one gift, let it be chickens and a coop. Yes, I know the foxes may pose a threat, and the cost of feed and care might exceed the price of organic eggs at the store. However, these hens would become my companions, providing fresh eggs for my family—who, let’s face it, may not be the biggest fans of eggs. Still, the experience of caring for them and the love that comes with chicken-smeared eggs would be priceless.
Canning Books, Pots, and Jars
Santa, I’m ready to dive into canning! I want all the essentials to pickle, candy, and store vegetables without the presence of BPA or aluminum. Just wait until peach season; I plan to can so many peaches that we’ll have to share with those in need. I promise I won’t give anyone botulism, but let’s be real—most of these items might end up gathering dust in my kitchen. Still, it’ll definitely improve my crunchy reputation!
Waldorf Toys Galore
I’ve got my eyes on a delightful array of Waldorf toys: a whimsical fabric elf, a beautiful wooden rainbow, and an eco-friendly treehouse complete with organic dolls and tiny furniture. I’m also dreaming of a stunning Bamboletta doll that features rainbow hair and a ring sling for its own little companion. Of course, all these toys are intended for my child… right?
A Year’s Supply of Nag Champa
For those who may not be familiar, Nag Champa is an incense beloved for its earthy fragrance. It’s a staple in any crunchy mama’s home, masking all sorts of odors—from diaper changes to cooking mishaps. It creates an atmosphere reminiscent of a college dorm trying to cover up a less-than-pleasant aroma.
A Handwoven Wrap
I’ve outgrown my Moby wrap and now seek something exquisite—perhaps handwoven with unicorn fur and elf hair in vibrant rainbow colors. I want a size 6 wrap that allows me to practice all my favorite carries without overwhelming you with the details, Santa.
Breastmilk Jewelry
I’m intrigued by the concept of breastmilk jewelry. Imagine sending my milk to a skilled artisan who transforms it into a beautiful piece of jewelry, preserving a piece of my motherhood forever. It would be a unique keepsake, almost like a modern-day relic.
Innovative Menstrual Products
Forget traditional pads and tampons; I’m ready to explore alternatives. I want a Diva Cup for those adventurous days, along with natural sea sponges and reusable cloth products. I’m excited about handmade organic pads that combine functionality and eco-friendliness. My eco-consciousness will shine bright during this time of the month!
That Coveted Diaper
You know the one I mean—the limited edition diaper that everyone is after. It’s trendy and adorable, and I’m hoping it will complete my collection. Let’s just pray my baby doesn’t have an accident in it!
Thank you for taking the time to read my list, Santa. I’ll be sure to leave you gluten-free carob-walnut cookies on Christmas Eve.
Warm regards,
A Not-So-Typical Crunchy Mom
In summary, this humorous letter presents a whimsical wish list from a “crunchy” mom, highlighting her desire for chickens, canning supplies, Waldorf toys, incense, unique baby-wearing wraps, breastmilk jewelry, eco-friendly menstrual products, and a trendy diaper. The letter captures the essence of a modern eco-conscious mother’s holiday aspirations while maintaining a lighthearted tone.
Keyphrase: Crunchy Mama Gift Guide
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