When I was around 10 years old, my brother had a brief moment of fame on our local news. Both of us had attended a community event that received some media coverage, and he was chosen to be featured in the broadcast. As our family gathered around the television that evening, everyone erupted with excitement—everyone except me. I seethed in the other room, feeling left out.
Why was he the one getting all the attention? Why couldn’t I be in the spotlight too? Was I not good enough? After a while, my parents found me sulking. Once they understood my frustration, they offered some sympathy—briefly—before urging me to be happy for my brother. We were a family, and his moment of recognition didn’t diminish my worth or potential.
I wish I could say that my parents’ advice instantly resolved my feelings of envy, but that would not be true. Just recently, I spotted another mom at school wearing the trendiest leggings I had ever seen. I couldn’t help but feel envious of her chic appearance, especially while I was dressed in old sweatpants and a messy ponytail. I even envied her toned physique.
As I’ve aged, I’ve developed a more carefree attitude toward others’ opinions. I feel less compelled to fit in with the so-called “cool kids.” Most days, I embrace my individuality and even consider myself a beautiful badass. However, I must admit that this attitude doesn’t completely shield me from self-doubt or envy. These feelings are inherent to the human experience, and anyone claiming to be immune to them is likely being disingenuous.
Personally, I’m on a journey to manage these emotions better. While I am improving in navigating my bouts of jealousy, I acknowledge that there’s still work to be done. I’ve learned that ignoring or suppressing these feelings only intensifies them. Instead of dissipating, they become a toxic brew of envy, anger, and shame. The first step toward overcoming envy is to recognize and accept it.
I was encouraged by a candid video featuring Lisa, a comedian, who openly discussed feeling jealous of a friend who landed a coveted gig. Hearing such honesty from someone successful made me realize that self-doubt and envy can affect anyone, which helps alleviate my guilt over my feelings towards that mom’s stylish leggings or my friend’s popularity.
Admitting to feelings of envy is one thing, but acting on them is another matter entirely. Lisa wisely advises sharing your feelings with someone but warns against acting on them. In her words, “I never dim someone else’s light to make mine shine brighter.”
This may sound cliché, but practicing gratitude and kindness can significantly alter our mindset. We’ve all heard the phrase “count your blessings,” often met with eye rolls. However, this advice holds merit, especially when I focus on the positive aspects of my life while engaging in activities like baking cookies for my family. Performing acts of kindness not only uplifts my mood but also provides a boost when I receive compliments on my baking skills. Comfort food, such as cookie dough, can truly feel like a warm embrace.
The interesting thing about self-doubt and envy is that once I navigate through the discomfort, I often find valuable lessons hidden in those negative feelings. For instance, if I compliment that stylish mom, I might discover where she shops for those fabulous leggings (likely LuLaRoe), and reflecting on a colleague’s success can inspire me to enhance my own skills.
When all else fails, I give myself a motivational pep talk. As cheesy as it sounds, we all possess unique qualities, and there’s plenty of goodness to go around. We are all in this together. As Lisa reminds us, “There’s always a place for you because no one else is exactly like you.”
In essence, you are a beautiful badass, and it’s essential to remember that.
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Summary
Self-doubt and envy can affect anyone, regardless of their outward confidence. Acknowledging these feelings rather than suppressing them is crucial for personal growth. Embracing gratitude and kindness, along with learning from these emotions, can help transform negativity into positivity. Ultimately, it’s important to remember that everyone has their unique strengths and that there’s room for everyone to shine.
Keyphrase: Self-Doubt and Envy
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