A child curiously staring, pointing, or whispering when encountering someone who looks different might appear innocent at first glance. However, such actions can inflict deep emotional pain.
“Today was tough,” shares Emily Thompson, a nurse from Arizona and mother of six, four of whom are adopted with special needs, in a poignant Facebook post. She recounts an experience at a new church with her 9-year-old son, Liam, where their entrance into the kids’ room was met with an unsettling silence followed by stares and pointing.
“I understand that he looks different, but today really hurt,” she expresses. “As I stood at the door, I watched every child fixate on my son with wide eyes and agape mouths.” Liam was born with a craniofacial condition and is missing an ear. While Emily knows that he is aware of his differences, it does not lessen the emotional toll it takes.
As she contemplated addressing the class about diversity, she noticed Liam had retreated to a corner, hiding his face in his arms. “You can’t hide in plain sight,” she remarks, feeling her heart sink as she walked back to comfort him.
When she asked Liam if he wanted to leave, he nodded and dashed out of the room. During the service, while Emily held him close, he drew “Liam loves Mom” on her palm. “Tears filled my throat,” she reflects. “My wonderful son deserves so much more than just stares and pointing.”
Initially, her response was anger—not sadness—a sentiment many parents might resonate with. “I wish I could say it doesn’t make me angry because they’re just kids. But my first instinct is to feel protective, despite knowing that they are children and my son is different,” Emily tells Modern Family Blog.
She also highlights a universal truth about parenting: as children grow, they become increasingly aware of their surroundings, making it challenging to shield them from harsh realities. “It hit me that my son is now nine, and I cannot always protect him,” she admits.
Typically, Emily would step in and educate the children, but on this occasion, her priority was comforting her son. With both she and her husband being educators, she understands the importance of teaching empathy. “Children may stare, but that doesn’t make it acceptable. Empathy isn’t just a lesson; it’s a way of life,” she emphasizes.
Emily also believes that indifference and staring can be just as damaging as outright bullying. “If I witness another child being teased or ignored, I am part of the issue. Allowing someone to sit alone every day at lunch makes me complicit. There are no innocent bystanders when emotional harm is involved,” she explains.
With one of her children having spina bifida and utilizing a wheelchair, another having endured a traumatic brain injury, and yet another with a feeding tube, Emily and her husband are also in the process of adopting a 2-year-old with limb differences. This experience fuels her desire for other parents: educate your kids about diversity.
“Teach your children that many people appear different. Show them images of individuals with various abilities and features. Explain that staring and pointing are unacceptable,” she suggests.
She encourages parents to use her experience as an opportunity for discussion. “Remind them that my son is just like your child on the inside. He enjoys playing with trucks, loves Minecraft, and has a passion for digging in the dirt. He adores ketchup but isn’t a fan of broccoli,” Emily writes. “And most importantly, he doesn’t appreciate being stared at or pointed out for his differences.”
She clarifies that she doesn’t harbor anger toward the kids who stared; rather, she believes they simply lacked the knowledge to understand differences. “It’s about embracing the variety of human bodies in every color, shape, size, and ability,” she asserts. Teaching our children is a choice and an active endeavor.
“Share images of people with various skin tones, different abilities, and diverse appearances. Show them children without hair, without ears, or without limbs. Take a moment to celebrate all forms of diversity,” she implores.
“Finally, teach your child that true beauty lies within a person’s heart, not their outward appearance.”
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Summary
Emily Thompson’s heartfelt message emphasizes the importance of discussing differences with children. Through her personal experience, she highlights the pain that comes from being stared at and urges parents to educate their kids about diversity. By fostering understanding and empathy, we can create a more inclusive environment for all children.