Parenting brings with it many challenges, and one of the most universal experiences is the inevitable embarrassment we cause our children. As a parent, it’s likely that at some point, you will find yourself in a situation that leaves your child cringing in discomfort.
Take, for example, my 10-year-old son, Ethan. While we were cleaning up the backyard, he casually ate a booger and declared, “Yum!” This was surprising behavior for him, especially as he usually avoids messy activities. It was a moment that made me reflect on how we embarrass each other in our roles as parent and child.
At this stage, I see him as a scruffy, carefree boy whom I want to embrace, while he views me as the overly affectionate dad in a polo and shorts, whose advice on grooming seems outdated. I often find myself pondering how to guide this booger-eating child into a respectable young man.
“Ethan,” I said, “there will come a day when you eat a booger in front of someone you like. They might call you gross, and while you’ll still find them attractive, you’ll never eat a booger in front of anyone again.” He rolled his eyes, a typical response whenever I offer my life lessons. As we resumed our weeding, I wondered how many of these moments he had experienced in front of others and felt a pang of doubt about my parenting.
Then, unexpectedly, Ethan asked, “Did you ever eat a booger in front of Mom?” I chuckled and replied, “No, that phase was long gone by the time I met her. It would have been embarrassing for both of us.” Then, I took a leap and asked, “Do I embarrass you?”
He hesitated, hands in his pockets, before admitting, “Only when you hug me in front of my friends.” I had suspected this for some time. Not long ago, I dropped him off at school, and he sprinted away to avoid a hug. Part of me wanted him to experience a close call, just to emphasize the importance of a father’s love, but thankfully, nothing alarming happened. Instead, I resolved to limit my public displays of affection to avoid further embarrassment for him.
In the past year, I’ve gradually stopped holding his hand or addressing his messy hair when we’re out. I’ve kept my opinions and affection confined to our home, respecting his growing desire for independence.
“Alright,” I replied, “I won’t hug you in front of your friends anymore. Deal?” His relieved smile was bittersweet, a clear indication of the distance that was starting to form between us. I reached out for reassurance, asking, “You still love me, right?” He glanced around to ensure no one was watching before giving me a quick hug. As he pulled away with a look that said, “You’re embarrassing me again, Dad,” I felt the heartache of growing up.
This is a poignant aspect of parenting a preteen: as children transition into their own identities, they often pull away from their parents, finding them embarrassing. Yet, as every parent knows, those fleeting moments of affection—no matter how hidden—are precious.
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In summary, the journey of parenting is filled with moments of embarrassment that shape the relationship between parent and child. As children grow, they naturally distance themselves, but the underlying bond remains, even in the shadow of awkward moments.
Keyphrase: parenting and embarrassment
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