As an expectant mother, I immersed myself in research, exploring every book, documentary, and resource available to prepare for my upcoming journey into motherhood. I meticulously created lists, attended classes, and envisioned a natural childbirth followed by immediate skin-to-skin contact and breastfeeding. However, I never anticipated that the breastfeeding process might not unfold as I had planned.
My mother had three uncomplicated natural births and a total of 11 years of seamless breastfeeding experience. There were no challenges, no reliance on electric pumps—just happy, content babies. This was the only narrative I knew. So, I was taken aback when my son exhibited a complete refusal to latch after nearly four hours post-birth. My midwife reassured me, explaining that he had required meconium suctioning immediately after delivery, suggesting that his throat was likely irritated, and that he would eventually start feeding.
But he didn’t.
He would make weak attempts to latch every few hours but would pull away and cry in frustration. I felt exhausted and frightened, unsure of how to proceed. Fortunately, his blood sugar levels remained stable, and he did not lose excessive weight during our hospital stay (he was born weighing over 10 pounds), so we were discharged with minimal assistance. This marked the beginning of two weeks filled with sleepless nights, anxiety, and overwhelming frustration.
Despite attempting to breastfeed every two hours around the clock, my baby lost almost two pounds. My husband and I were at a loss. After consulting three lactation specialists, we discovered that, although my son was trying hard, he struggled to transfer milk due to an anatomical issue with his mouth and tongue. I was devastated and utterly fatigued.
To avoid nipple confusion, we embarked on an exhausting regimen of pumping, feeding him via a tube alongside my nipple—an intricate two-person job requiring four hands and about half an hour—supplementing with formula, and repeating this exhausting routine every two hours. I was determined to breastfeed, even as I felt myself nearing my breaking point.
In a moment of desperation, I offered him a bottle of freshly pumped milk. To my relief, he eagerly accepted it, drank it down, and fell into a peaceful sleep. He began regaining weight, and I realized I had another viable option: exclusively pumping. To my surprise, this new approach was far less chaotic than the previous method we had tried.
I established a routine of pumping six times over 24 hours, including a session during the night—allowing me to catch up on reading. I quickly learned tips for sanitizing bottles efficiently in the dark at 4 a.m. and embraced the benefits of hands-free pumping bras, pumping while driving, lactation cookies, and having my partner take over night feeds. Before long, I was able to pump, feed my baby, enjoy breakfast, and sip my coffee all at once. Although it was one of the most challenging tasks I had ever undertaken, it was also incredibly fulfilling.
Eventually, my milk supply rebounded, and I began producing 45 ounces a day. My son soon achieved the 99th percentile for height and weight. By the time he was 12 weeks old, I could eliminate the midnight pumping session and finally enjoy several hours of uninterrupted sleep. My husband and I were able to enjoy date nights, and he generously gave me “off” weekends, waking up with our son and allowing me to sleep in. It became significantly easier to return to work with a well-established pumping routine in place. The transformation from what seemed impossible to manageable was remarkable.
I set small milestones for myself: make it to three months, then six, then nine, and finally a year. Now, I find myself nearly 16 months into this journey, and I’m preparing to wean. I can hardly believe how far we’ve come. My son is thriving and healthy—he has only experienced one 24-hour fever in his life—and remains as chubby and delightful as ever. My husband has also had the invaluable opportunity to bond with our baby through feeding, and they continue to share special moments together, like bedtime five nights a week and weekend mornings.
These past 16 months have been an emotional rollercoaster, yet they have also been filled with some of our most cherished memories. I’ve come to understand that breastfeeding doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing endeavor. Every drop of milk was a precious gift to my child, no matter if we had breastfed for five days or 25 months. I’ve learned that pumping is a form of breastfeeding, and those who exclusively pump are some of the most resilient individuals I’ve had the honor to meet.
To all the pumping mothers out there: I recognize your struggle. I see you battling with pump parts in the middle of the night, washing countless bottles, and dealing with the discomfort of sore, cracked nipples. I see you eyeing your pump with frustration, contemplating its fate, and then resolutely gearing up for yet another session.
Take it one day at a time. You are capable of achieving this. Whether you pump for a week or two years, know that you have poured your heart and soul into providing your baby with the best nourishment possible. Your efforts are commendable.
For those exploring the journey of parenthood through alternative methods, resources such as this home insemination guide and this fertility booster for men can provide valuable insights. Additionally, Hopkins Medicine offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Navigating exclusive pumping for 16 months proved to be a challenging yet rewarding journey for me as a new mother. Despite initial hurdles with breastfeeding, I adapted to exclusively pumping and discovered that every ounce of milk was a cherished gift to my child. This experience taught me the importance of resilience and the valuable connections formed through feeding. I encourage all moms, whether pumping or exploring alternative paths to parenthood, to take it one day at a time.
Keyphrase: Exclusive pumping journey
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