Dear cashier at the pharmacy,
I recognize that you probably had good intentions when you asked about my due date. It seems that many people are curious these days, especially considering my size. At 25 weeks, my belly is larger than what is typical for a first pregnancy, and I understand the natural curiosity surrounding it.
As a doula for the past six years, I’ve come to appreciate growing bellies and the beauty they represent. When I see other pregnant women, I often feel compelled to approach them and express admiration. However, I’ve learned the importance of respecting personal boundaries—an understanding that many seem to overlook. When I see a pregnant woman, I smile quietly or perhaps exchange a brief smile if our eyes meet, but I refrain from asking questions. Even now, as someone expecting a child, I choose not to comment on other women’s bodies because you never know what someone might be going through.
So, when you inquired about my due date, my heart began to race. Over the past several weeks, countless others have asked me the same question, eager to know when my little one will arrive, as if it’s imminent. I often respond with a simple “December,” but each time I do, I feel a wave of anxiety. The look on your face made me reconsider whether I should have said something different—perhaps a month earlier like September or October. But why should I have to lie just to ease your discomfort?
What happened next was even more unsettling. A man nearby, who I later learned was a physician, turned to me and joked, “Triplets?” My heart sank. I’ve faced similar comments about twins recently, and while I always respond with “no,” the sting of such remarks lingers. When you suggested triplets, I felt as if the ground beneath me had vanished. It was a reminder of the pain I carry—two of my children are no longer with me.
I understand you meant no harm. There’s no way you could have known about my previous losses. However, this is precisely why such questions and comments can be hurtful. You never truly know what someone is experiencing—who may have suffered a miscarriage, who is carrying a stillborn baby, or who is anxiously awaiting a child who may not survive. Therefore, it’s best to avoid commenting on a pregnant woman’s body or asking about her due date.
When you asked those questions with bright smiles, I left the pharmacy feeling defeated and reminded of my loss. I wanted to share my story, but I hesitated, fearing it would make you uncomfortable. So, I simply walked away, perhaps leaving you with the impression that I was unfriendly.
I hope you take a moment to reflect on your words and consider the impact they may have on others. Each of us carries our own stories, and some are more painful than you could imagine.
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Summary
In this reflective piece, the author shares the emotional challenges of navigating unsolicited comments about her pregnancy. She emphasizes the importance of understanding personal boundaries, particularly for those who may have experienced loss. The call to avoid commenting on a pregnant woman’s body is poignant, underscoring the need for empathy and consideration in conversations surrounding pregnancy.
Keyphrase: pregnancy boundaries
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