For many parents, the experience of sleeping alone feels like a distant memory. It’s not a boast; it’s simply the reality of sharing the bed with at least two family members (who are, indeed, related to me). Such is the life of parenting.
Approximately three years ago, we transitioned our 5-year-old, Alex, from his crib to a proper bed. To make this change exciting, we opted for a trendy loft-style bed that took an unreasonable amount of time to assemble (thank you, IKEA!). However, for the majority of that year, and likely the entirety of the past three, Alex has preferred to leave his bed in favor of ours each night.
Navigating this scenario can lead to a struggle between conflicting thoughts. On one hand, sharing a bed designed for two becomes challenging when a third occupant, who often lacks an understanding of proper sleeping etiquette, spends most of the night kicking and moving about, frequently taking up more than his fair share of the mattress. On the other hand, this phase won’t last forever — he’ll soon outgrow the desire to snuggle, and those moments will become a cherished memory.
Children grow quickly, and what may seem inconvenient at the moment often transforms into something we miss dearly. As kids transition through various developmental stages, certain behaviors that once annoyed us may be replaced by even more complex challenges. Personally, I’d much prefer the occasional “why” question from my son to the daunting prospect of funding his college education.
Co-sleeping is one such behavior; it represents a fleeting stage in childhood that many parents find difficult to relinquish. Despite the plethora of experts warning against it — citing potential negative impacts on sleep quality and child development — the allure of co-sleeping is often hard to resist. This is not merely a case of a child crawling into bed at 2 a.m. out of sheer exhaustion.
My partner, despite her concerns about establishing healthy sleep habits for Alex, genuinely enjoys those nights when she has him cuddled up beside her. It’s a sweet reminder of his need for closeness, especially when she reflects on how quickly he is growing. As the school year wraps up and we compare first and last-day photos, she often wishes to hold onto these moments just a little longer.
Thus, we find ourselves oscillating between thoughts of “we need to break this habit for his sake” and “let’s cherish this while we can.” Sometimes these conflicting emotions arise within the same night. One moment Alex is nestled between us, the next he’s back in his bed, occasionally due to gentle persuasion or even a bribe. Though we often complain about the disruption to our sleep, we are ultimately content with the arrangement. After all, it’s unlikely he’ll still be seeking comfort in our bed at 12 years old. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that!
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In summary, co-sleeping presents a unique challenge and joy for parents. It embodies a fleeting stage of childhood that many cherish, despite the occasional inconvenience. Balancing the desire for independence with the need for closeness is a delicate act, but it is one that ultimately creates lasting memories.
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