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- Hey Mama, You Can Do It Better Than Me
by Jenna Lawson
Updated: June 29, 2023
As I glance across the store, I can see your focused gaze, and I sense the judgment simmering beneath the surface. I’m acutely aware of the mom sweat trickling down as I navigate another chaotic outing with my kids. It’s clear to me that you’re thinking what many parents often consider: “I could handle this better.” And you know what? You’re probably right.
When you witness me at the supermarket, exclaiming, “No, we’re not stopping for that sugary cereal, and if you ask one more time, I might just donate all your toys!” you could undoubtedly manage this situation with more grace.
In moments at church, where my children are squirming and whispering loudly, I can almost hear you thinking that you would have it all under control. When my teenager rolls her eyes at me in public, and I simply walk away in defeat, I know you’d likely handle it differently.
When my son throws a fit over his favorite Lego set, and I concede by purchasing it just to restore peace, I recognize that you might have a different approach. In times of high stress when I feel at my wits’ end, I can assure you, you could approach things more effectively.
There are countless reasons you might believe you could do better. Perhaps you’ve had more than a few uninterrupted minutes to gather your thoughts. Maybe you enjoyed a full night’s sleep recently. Your children may be older, granting you a wealth of experience and perspective. You might simply have a temperament that allows you to remain calm when faced with an eye-rolling teen.
However, none of these reasons indicate that you love these children any more than I do. In fact, we might not have even met, and you likely don’t know my children’s names, so it’s safe to say that my love for them is deeper than yours. Just as I don’t know your story, you don’t fully understand mine.
In these challenging moments, both parents and children require grace—whether in a bustling store or a place of worship. Each experience highlights my ongoing journey as a parent, and I recognize that I am still learning. My education often unfolds in public, and unfortunately for my anxiety levels, that’s just part of the deal.
The silver lining is that I hope you can learn from my missteps. So, if you find yourself observing my parenting blunders, take a lesson from my experience without judgment. Remember, there are aspects of my life that you cannot see.
For example, the child squirming in church might be struggling with the recent loss of our beloved dog. That teenager with an attitude may be with me because she felt rejected after being excluded from a sleepover. My youngest might be grappling with speech difficulties, making communication a challenge. And I might be functioning on barely five hours of sleep, trying to juggle a demanding job while managing a household.
So, if you think you could do better in that chaotic moment, you’re likely correct. I may not always have my best foot forward. But I firmly believe in my long-term capabilities as a parent, and I trust you feel the same about your own journey.
Next time you see a mom struggling with a crying toddler while trying to shop, let’s extend a little understanding her way. She likely has valid reasons for her choices, and we can continue with our own lives without worrying about her parenting.
And if I happen to see your child licking the shopping cart or calling you names because you’ve refused to buy something frivolous, I’ll give you a knowing smile. I’ll recognize that your child might just be having a rough day, and that sass likely comes from somewhere other than you. Let’s share that grace, supporting one another on this parenting path we all navigate together.
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In summary, we all have our struggles and triumphs as parents, and it’s crucial to foster an environment of empathy and support rather than judgment.
Keyphrase: parenting challenges and grace
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