When a parent shares that their child has autism, it can create an awkward moment. Many people feel uncertain about how to respond appropriately, leading to clumsy comments or hasty exits from the conversation. Understanding what not to say can help alleviate discomfort and foster a supportive environment. Here are twelve statements to steer clear of:
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“But they seem so…normal?”
This comment can be perplexing. “Normal” is subjective; every child is unique in their own way.
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“Are you certain they have autism?”
Yes, we are certain. Multiple professionals have confirmed this diagnosis after extensive evaluations.
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“What do you think caused it?”
The truth is, we don’t know. We’ve spent time reflecting on various factors without arriving at any conclusions. What truly matters is focusing on the support we can provide for our child.
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“What can they do?”
It’s essential to recognize that having autism doesn’t equate to having special talents. This question can inadvertently highlight differences, making parents feel their child is “less than” in both the neurotypical and autistic communities.
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“If you just disciplined them more…”
This misconception is damaging. Autism is not a result of poor parenting, and behaviors that may appear as tantrums can often be sensory meltdowns.
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“I’ve tried talking to them, but they ignore me. Maybe check their hearing?”
We have. They are not deaf; they perceive the world differently. Communication may not always be verbal, but it exists.
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“Maybe they just prefer to be alone.”
While they might seem to enjoy solitude, it often stems from the challenges of navigating social interactions, not a true preference for being alone.
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“They’re not that bad.”
This statement can be dismissive. Autism is not synonymous with being “bad” or “broken.” It’s simply a different way of experiencing the world.
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“They’ll eat when they’re hungry.”
This approach is not advisable for children with autism, as their sensory preferences can dictate their food choices.
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“You are so [insert positive adjective].”
While compliments may be well-intentioned, the focus should be on the child’s strengths rather than placing undue pressure on the parent.
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“I’m sorry.”
There’s no need for sympathy. Many parents find joy and fulfillment in their journey.
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“Will they always be like this?”
Yes, they will always have autism, but that doesn’t define their entire existence. They will continue to grow and thrive in their unique way.
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In summary, being mindful of language and responses can create a more supportive atmosphere for parents of children with autism. Awareness and understanding are the keys to fostering inclusive conversations.
Keyphrase: autism support for parents
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