Updated: June 4, 2016 | Originally Published: June 4, 2016
Before my partner and I became parents, mealtime was a sophisticated affair. We savored dishes like lemon-infused chicken with roasted vegetables, and I crafted rich sauces from scratch while enjoying leisurely brunches featuring crepes and freshly squeezed orange juice—lightly spiked with champagne, of course.
I believed that this culinary passion would seamlessly transition into our family dinners. However, I soon realized how naive I was. Attempting to recreate those gourmet meals post-kids often left me emotionally drained and in need of a nap. While I still enjoy cooking and baking, my approach has drastically shifted. Here’s a glimpse into my new reality.
Dinner Preparation (a.k.a. Mayhem)
At 4 PM, hunger strikes. I know I should start dinner, but first, a quick indulgence of peanut butter drizzled with chocolate sauce is necessary to stave off faintness while I chop vegetables. The chaos intensifies as one child clings to my leg while the other throws a tantrum. And just when I think I might regain control, someone inevitably needs a diaper change. As they grow older, they seem to choose this time to unveil their homework and scatter permission slips everywhere. Please, someone hand me the Tylenol.
Menu Planning
I still attempt to craft impressive meals at the beginning of the week, perhaps out of some twisted sense of enjoyment in suffering. Grocery shopping finds me envisioning rack of lamb with garlic mashed potatoes. After bringing everything home and putting in the effort, my kids might take a single bite before declaring the greens “slimy.” I remind myself that pasta with sauce counts as a vegetable, and macaroni and cheese covers the dairy requirement. By Friday, if I continue this trend of ambitious cooking, I may not even recognize myself.
The Dinner Hour
I fantasize about a tranquil dinner where compliments flow freely, but we all know how that turns out. Appealing meals often appear unappetizing to children. They poke at their food and cover it with napkins as if hiding a crime. Suddenly, they are suffering from mysterious ailments that prevent them from eating. I find that this situation pairs well with a glass of red wine. If my partner mentions that last week’s chicken was better, I grip my fork with the urge to stab.
I crave meaningful conversations amidst the chaos of reminding the kids to chew with their mouths closed and to stay seated. When I ask about their favorite part of the day (a futile endeavor), I often receive answers like, “Watching Tommy pick his nose in class and smear it on the window.”
Dessert
This is the moment when the kids come back to life. Miraculously, their previous ailments vanish, and they suddenly have the ability to consume the dinner they once turned their noses up at. I typically give them five minutes to finish their plates; if they don’t, dessert is off the table. It’s a lovely bonding experience filled with tears and more wine.
Cleanup
Some nights, scraping and rinsing plates before loading them into the dishwasher goes smoothly. Other nights, it’s complete chaos. During these times, I reminisce about my childhood chores, threatening to make them wash dishes by hand if they can’t load the dishwasher correctly (despite having shown them multiple times). However, we all know that’s not happening.
Ultimately, I remain committed to family dinners. Despite the complaints and secreted peas, these moments together are what knit our family unit. The food itself is less important than the time spent together, tuning out the world. Yes, mealtime can be a circus, but it’s our circus, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
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Summary: Family dinners often transform from sophisticated dining experiences into chaotic, yet meaningful, gatherings filled with challenges and laughter. Despite the struggles, these shared moments help bond families together and create lasting memories.
Keyphrase: family dinnertime struggles
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