By: Emily Parker
Updated: Jan. 27, 2023
Originally Published: Jan. 27, 2023
“I feel like I can’t go on anymore. The voices in my head are growing louder, and it’s becoming unbearable. I just want it to stop.” As I sit across from her, her desperation is palpable. Tears stream down her face, and her trembling hands reveal her struggle to maintain control over the only thing she believes she can—herself.
She eventually calms enough to answer my questions, the ones I dread asking as a school counselor. Often, I have to confront the unthinkable:
- “Are you contemplating self-harm or suicide?”
- “Do you have a specific plan?”
- “Do you possess the means to carry it out?”
The third question is always the toughest. After 15 years of asking these questions, the finality of the answer weighs heavily. If a student has a plan and the means to execute it, we are perilously close to losing them.
Conversations like this happen every day—whether in a counselor’s office, a classroom, with a therapist, a faith leader, or a friend. The fact that they are willing to talk indicates there’s hope. It’s the silent ones we often lose—the ones who have already resolved those three questions internally, often long before we realize they are in crisis.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 2014 there were 42,773 reported suicides, making it the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S. For youth aged 10 to 24, suicide is the third leading cause of death, claiming approximately 4,600 lives annually. The primary methods utilized by young people include firearms (45%), suffocation (40%), and poisoning (8%).
It’s crucial to note that many young people who attempt suicide survive. A national survey of high school students revealed that 16% seriously contemplated suicide, 13% created a plan, and 8% attempted to take their own life in the previous year.
One winter morning stands out vividly in my memory. I arrived early to find a shadowy figure in my office chair—something I hadn’t expected. It was a student, Jamie, who weighed heavily on my mind. He was the one I thought about at night, worrying if I would see him again. His head hung low, hands trembling, tears spilled down his cheeks as he looked at me, his voice barely above a whisper: “I almost did it last night.”
I felt the urge to jump into questions and protocols but instead chose to listen. “I was in my room with a gun. It was loaded, in my mouth, finger on the trigger… then I heard my mom. She called my name. I stopped.”
Even now, years later, I feel a pang of sadness for him. His pain, isolation, and despair made suicide seem like the only option. That moment of interruption—his mom calling out—was a turning point in both their lives. It ultimately saved him.
Time is a crucial factor for young people. Many report fleeting urges to end their lives. If they can endure the moment, they often find the will to live. If they lack access to means or someone intervenes, they can receive help before the urge returns. Having a lifeline, someone they trust to confide in, can make all the difference.
Trust is essential. Identifying a person they can turn to—someone to be vulnerable with—is a vital component in the fight against suicide.
Connections are transformative. When young people feel misunderstood, a simple gesture of reaching out can ignite the path to seeking help.
While I don’t have all the answers or know if we will ever see a decrease in youth suicides, I understand one thing: our children need us. They need to see hope reflected in our eyes and feel heard and accepted when they reach out. We must encourage them to keep holding on.
There is help. There is hope. They are not alone. Their story does not have to end in tragedy.
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Summary
Youth suicide remains a pressing issue, with many young people struggling silently. Conversations about mental health are crucial, and establishing connections can save lives. Encouraging trust and hope among our youth is vital in preventing these tragedies.
Keyphrase: youth suicide awareness
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