When my mother experienced her first period at the age of 13, her mother reacted with a firm slap across the face. This was a common practice “back in the old country,” my mom explained, but she assured me that she wouldn’t respond in the same manner when the time came for me. Instead, she handed me a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves when I was just 12 years old. I flipped through its pages, focusing on the stark black-and-white images, while the accompanying text mostly eluded my attention. However, the visual impressions of the human body left a lasting impact on me.
As a progressive, coffee-loving feminist, I have actively worked on fostering a positive relationship with my body and its natural processes. This endeavor became even more significant after the birth of my son and daughter. I contemplated how I could encourage my daughter to feel comfortable discussing menstruation openly.
Last year, we devised a unique approach: whenever I had my menstrual cycle, my husband would take the kids to pick out candy for me.
While I originated this plan, my husband wholeheartedly supported it. The idea was straightforward: we aimed to normalize a topic that is often considered taboo and create positive associations with it—candy!
During dinner, we introduced the subject to our daughter and her eight-year-old brother. My husband and I maintained a casual tone, as if discussing a mundane playdate.
Me: “I have some good news. I’m on my period.” Husband: “That’s wonderful! Kids, how about we grab some chocolate for Mommy after dinner?” Son: “What’s a period?” Me: “It’s similar to a nosebleed, but from a vagina. It’s not painful.” Son: “So, blood comes out of your vagina?” Me: “Exactly! This happens roughly once a month for women and teenage girls.” Son: “Oh. [Pause.] I want chocolate, too.” Me: “Don’t worry—I’ll share! Just make sure your dad picks out something nice.”
I was thrilled with the conversation’s progression. My daughter was engaged, my son appeared to be growing into a wonderfully open-minded individual, and my husband managed to keep his composure at the dinner table. However, subsequent discussions took an unexpected turn:
“Mommy, my nose is having a period!” “I have candy because Mommy has blood on her vagina!” “Mommy, can we have M&M’s for your period?”
If only these comments didn’t occur in public settings, it might be easier!
Overall, the outcomes of this initiative have been encouraging. My children are no longer squeamish about discussing anatomical topics, my husband has avoided using euphemisms like “Aunt Flo,” and I receive a generous supply of candy. I will continue to monitor this as my daughter approaches adolescence. Until then, I must prepare a suitable explanation for why other women in their lives—like teachers, neighbors, or postal carriers—might decline the generous offer of “period chocolate.”
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In summary, discussing menstruation openly with children can lead to positive outcomes. Through our candy experiment, we have successfully reduced the stigma surrounding this natural process, fostering an environment of understanding and acceptance within our family.
Keyphrase: Understanding Menstruation with Children
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