Every time I find myself away from my child for a significant period, I’m often confronted with a familiar question: “You must really miss him, right?” The response is not what most expect—no, I don’t miss him.
As a freelance writer, I am fortunate to have the flexibility to work from home while nurturing my career. My schedule is filled with deadlines, conference calls, and supportive editors who believe in my skills. I also have a lively toddler who enjoys playing and reading his First Words book, and who thinks I’m the only one capable of soothing him to sleep.
Sometimes, my professional commitments take me away from my child—whether I’m writing in another room or traveling to cover a story or attend a meeting. Each time I engage in activities that don’t involve him, someone will ask if I miss my son. They tilt their heads slightly, eyebrows raised, almost incredulous that I can manage time apart from my child.
I usually respond with the socially acceptable answer that it’s difficult and that I can’t wait to return home, and while there’s truth in that, I want to express something deeper. I genuinely enjoy my work. The opportunities it brings and the satisfaction I derive from creating are fulfilling. When I’m engrossed in an article or involved in a meeting, my mind isn’t on my child—it’s on the task at hand. In those moments, I feel a sense of contentment that comes from pursuing my passion.
I even look forward to the time spent away from my son—not because he’s overwhelming, but because I relish the chance to engage in activities that don’t involve him. My life is enriched by my career, friendships, and personal projects that I can only pursue when he’s not around. While I treasure my moments with my child, I also value the time I spend doing things that feed my personal and professional growth, such as my job.
So, no, I don’t miss my child when I’m working.
As mothers, there seems to be an unspoken expectation to express sorrow about time spent away from our children, unlike fathers, who don’t typically face the same scrutiny. A father’s absence at work is rarely questioned, while mothers often feel they must justify their dual roles as caregivers and professionals. I want to emphasize that my choice to work is not out of necessity but a personal decision to fulfill my aspirations. I am not just providing for my family; I am also nurturing my own ambitions and achievements, and I have no reason to apologize for that.
Of course, from time to time, guilt creeps in. A nagging voice may tell me I’m being selfish or not doing enough as a parent. This voice, which often undermines my confidence, can be hard to ignore. Yet, I strive to silence it, reminding myself that it is fueled by fear and self-doubt.
Yes, there are moments when I do miss my son—typically right before I see him or just after saying goodbye. However, when I am engrossed in my work, my focus is on my professional pursuits.
So, when you ask me if I miss my child while I’m away or working, I’ll likely nod and provide the expected response, but the truth is more nuanced. I find fulfillment and a sense of achievement outside of my role as a mother, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
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In summary, balancing motherhood and a career is challenging, yet many women find joy and satisfaction in both. It’s perfectly acceptable to embrace our professional identities and the happiness they bring alongside our roles as mothers.
Keyphrase: Balancing motherhood and career
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