When I evaluate my approach to parenting, it often feels like I’ve opted for the more challenging route. For example, if my children fail to greet others in the elevator, I give them “the look,” followed by a 10-minute discussion on the importance of courtesy. Sure, it might be simpler to overlook their lack of empathy and just praise them for anything they do, but I can’t turn a blind eye to ingratitude or indifference. Each day, I prepare myself to enforce certain principles to foster the development of responsible individuals. Here are 10 techniques that require my utmost energy but hopefully lead to raising commendable human beings.
1. Embrace Reality in Competition
I refrain from sugarcoating losses. While I aim to be gentle, it’s vital for my child to understand that competitions often have winners and losers. If you’re new to parenting, I encourage you to explain this reality to your child. If you’re the type who gives every participant a trophy regardless of the outcome, consider reassessing that approach.
2. Selective Display of Artwork
I don’t feel compelled to showcase every piece of art my kids create on the fridge. While I appreciate creativity, I draw the line at half-hearted scribbles. For instance, my daughter may produce a few doodles and expect them to be displayed as if they’re masterpieces, but that’s not happening!
3. Evaluate Birthday Party Invitations
Before I agree to attend a birthday party, my children must present a five-point case for why they want to go. Questions I ask include: How well do you know the birthday child? What’s their favorite thing? Do you often play together? Have you had any disagreements? And would you be willing to buy them a gift?
4. Respect for Food Choices
I refuse to force-feed my children. I don’t threaten them with ultimatums like, “If you don’t eat this, then…” I have a fear of them developing a negative relationship with food due to my enthusiasm for various cuisines. My rules are simple: This is what’s for dinner; if you don’t like it, refer to Rule A.
5. No Elaborate Lunch Packing
I do not engage in complex lunch-prepping rituals. While I admire parents who create colorful, themed lunches, I lack the creativity and energy for that. There won’t be any train-shaped sandwiches in my household!
6. Impose Electronic Breaks
To combat the mind-numbing effects of screens, I implement “electronic bans” during certain times of day. This leads to some chaos, as my kids often begin to bicker once the screens are off.
7. Permit Imaginative Play
I don’t restrict my sons from playing war games. My daughter enjoys playing with dolls, while my sons engage in their own imaginative soldier scenarios, resulting in a vibrant, if chaotic, mix of glitter and Nerf guns in our home.
8. Utilize Incentives
When my children misbehave and guests are about to arrive, I resort to bribery. I present them with enticing rewards, but I make it clear that if they mention the bribe, the deal is off. They quickly learn that cooperating is much more beneficial.
9. Discuss Difficult Topics
When sensitive subjects arise, such as death, I don’t shy away from them. After the passing of a public figure, I chose to talk about mortality with my child. It’s healthier to have open discussions rather than avoid them altogether.
10. Implement the Three-Minute Law
I’ve learned that the first and last three minutes of a child’s day are crucial. I wake them gently, inquire about their day, and end it by asking if they have anything they’d like to discuss. This simple practice fosters a strong connection.
While I’ve encountered many theories about allowing kids to be kids and trusting they’ll learn on their own, I’ve seen enough rude behavior in adults and teens to know I prefer to instill a sense of reality in my children (with plenty of love!). One day, I hope these lessons will help shape them into decent individuals.
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In summary, parenting is not merely about shielding children from disappointment but equipping them with the tools to navigate life’s complexities—ultimately raising thoughtful, empathetic individuals.
Keyphrase: Raising Well-Adjusted Children
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