As a parent, the fear of not being able to protect your child from harm is overwhelming. The statistics reveal that 1 in 5 women will experience sexual assault in their lifetime. Initially, this knowledge provided a sense of solidarity, knowing that others have faced similar traumas. However, the implications for my daughter weigh heavily on my mind. She faces a 20% risk of becoming a victim of such violence, and while my instinct is to shield her from danger, I realize that complete protection is impossible.
I could advise her on how to minimize her risk of assault with a long list of precautions: Always be wary of others. Avoid relationships. Stay away from social events. Drink only in isolation. Never share personal information online, and limit any form of self-expression. In essence, I could tell her to retreat from life itself, to live in fear rather than embrace the world.
But this approach would not only strip her of personal experiences and joy; it would also instill a sense of shame and guilt should she ever find herself in a situation of assault. She might internalize the belief that her choices led to her victimization, leading to silence and self-blame. This cycle of fear and shame is detrimental, potentially robbing her of her sense of self and agency.
Instead, I choose to impart a message of empowerment: Your body is your own. Consent is paramount—yes means yes, no means no, and silence is not consent. Encourage trust in oneself and in others. While it’s important to be aware of the risks, I want her to live freely and authentically. Engage in relationships, explore friendships, and embrace moments of vulnerability. It’s crucial that she understands that any potential assault is never her fault; the responsibility lies solely with the perpetrator.
Life inherently carries risks, but it is also filled with opportunities for love, connection, and happiness. While I cannot shield her from every danger, I can equip her with the knowledge and confidence to navigate the world.
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In summary, while the reality of potential harm exists, fostering resilience and empowerment in our children is vital. Teaching them about consent, trust, and self-worth prepares them to navigate a world filled with both risks and rewards.
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