In the realm of parenting, being the preferred parent is often seen as a badge of honor. However, the reality can be quite different. I find myself in this position; my child, Emma, often calls for me during the night, seeks comfort in my presence when she falls, and consistently reaches out for me as we enter or leave a room. While it’s a wonderful feeling to be so loved, it can also be overwhelming.
Initially, I anticipated the joy of experiencing that unique, unconditional love that children have. Over the past two years, I have certainly felt that love, characterized by enthusiastic hugs, invitations to partake in imaginative play, and the reassurance that I can address any of her concerns. Yet, this affection comes with its own set of challenges.
Being the favorite parent means being perpetually on duty. When Emma cries for me in the early hours, it’s clear that my partner, Alex, is not the one she wants. This dynamic creates a unique tension, especially during those rare moments when we attempt to enjoy a night out. The worry over how bedtime is faring often looms large, and I’ve returned home to find Emma still awake after desperately calling for me for hours. Weekend getaways become nearly impossible, and I find myself constantly touched—my leg held, my arm tugged, and even my face occasionally scratched as she seeks closeness.
Consider a typical Saturday morning: Emma wakes up at 6 a.m. and calls out, “Mummy! Need Mummy!” While I long for a few extra hours of sleep, Alex groggily gets up to attend to her. I try to stay nestled under the blankets, but the heart-wrenching cries of “No! No! Need mummy!” compel me to surrender and join them.
The most difficult aspect of being the favorite parent is witnessing the impact it has on Alex. When Emma calls for me, it inherently implies a rejection of Alex. When Alex responds, Emma’s rejection can be quite pronounced: “No! Not you! Mummy!” At this age, Emma lacks the understanding of how her words may affect others, particularly when it comes to her other parent. This favoritism is further complicated by the fact that we are a two-mom family. Emma’s preference for me isn’t simply a reflection of a traditional maternal bond; it is a choice between both of us. Alex sometimes asks, “Why does she H-A-T-E me?” It’s crucial to clarify that Emma does not harbor any hatred towards Alex; her love is genuine, even if it feels unbalanced at times.
Despite these challenges, we strive to mitigate the effects of favoritism. Whenever Emma falls, the closest parent picks her up. I still make time for social outings, even if it means overcoming the tears that follow my departure. Alex reassures me, saying, “It’s OK! We’ll be fine! You go out!” I do go out, and they manage just fine without me.
When those moments of doubt arise—“Why does she H-A-T-E me?”—I remind Alex that Emma’s heart is expansive enough to love both of us. It’s acceptable for me to be the favorite right now; it’s a phase that will eventually shift. In the future, Emma may turn to Alex for comfort, be it for secrets, academic support, or emotional healing. There will come a day when she expresses her teenage angst towards me, declaring, “I hate you!” In those moments, we will reassure her that she doesn’t need to choose between us; she is safe and loved by both parents.
Ultimately, the true favorite in our family is Emma, and her needs will always come first.
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Summary:
Being the favorite parent comes with its own unique challenges. While it feels wonderful to be loved and needed, it can also lead to feelings of guilt and concern for the other parent. In a two-mom family, favoritism can be particularly complex, but it’s essential to remind ourselves that love is not a finite resource. The dynamics may shift as the child grows, and both parents must work together to ensure that their child feels secure and cherished by both.
Keyphrase: favorite parent challenges
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