What Happened When I Chose to Share My Abortion Experience

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At the age of 20, I found myself facing an unexpected pregnancy. For the first eleven weeks, I tried to ignore the situation entirely. I made excuses for my missed periods, avoided pregnancy tests at the store, and turned a blind eye to the changes happening in my body. I held onto the hope that if I did nothing, the issue might simply resolve itself. However, I couldn’t escape the growing feeling of anxiety that haunted my dreams.

Eventually, I confided in someone I trusted deeply. She was heartbroken for both me and the potential life I carried, yet she supported me by helping to arrange my abortion, driving me to the clinic, and caring for my recovery afterward. That was 24 years ago, and while I’ve never completely hidden my experience, I’ve kept it largely to myself—sharing it with only a select few. Although I felt confident in my decision, I still viewed it as a private matter.

Recently, I came across Katha Pollitt’s thought-provoking essay in The New York Times titled “How to Really Defend Planned Parenthood.” In it, she highlighted that nearly 1 in 3 women in the U.S. has undergone an abortion, yet their individual stories remain largely untold. Pollitt encouraged those of us who have benefited from the legal right to abortion to speak up about our experiences, regardless of gender.

Inspired, I decided to share my story on social media. I posted on Facebook about my earlier abortion and expressed my gratitude to Planned Parenthood for their vital services available to all. The actual posting took mere seconds, but the decision weighed on me for several days prior. I knew that this was my personal story to share, yet I was mindful of the potential implications for my family. Conversations with my partner helped clarify my feelings; I expressed my fears of backlash and the possible impact on those I love.

We discussed my readiness to speak out. I acknowledged my past recklessness in becoming pregnant too soon, but also recognized how fortunate I was to have access to a safe, legal abortion. My husband listened thoughtfully, affirming my desire to share my experience. His simple acknowledgment made me realize that, despite my fears, I indeed wanted to speak out.

The response to my Facebook post was overwhelmingly positive. I received support from long-time friends and family members, as well as an unexpected note from the father of my childhood best friend. However, a comment from an acquaintance from high school caused my heart to sink. I had liked him during school, yet I was uncertain of his views on abortion. Taking a deep breath, I read his words.

He expressed his opposition to government funding for abortions and his stance against late-term procedures. What struck me was his respectful tone. I had dreaded personal attacks, but he engaged in a sincere and warm discussion. I appreciated his comment—it reminded me that even amidst the polarizing atmosphere surrounding abortion, there is space for genuine dialogue.

Having open discussions about personal experiences with abortion carries risks, yet it also opens the door for meaningful conversations, even with those who may disagree. Safe spaces for such discussions are essential, and we must encourage honesty and respect in our dialogues. Too often, online commentary about abortion is filled with hostility from anonymous users. If we wish to voice our opinions—especially critical ones—we should do so under our real names.

At 20, I couldn’t have imagined publicly addressing my private struggles. Today, I wish I could sit with my younger self, reassuring her that there would come a time when she could share her story and be understood.

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In summary, sharing personal experiences regarding abortion can foster understanding and compassion, bridging divides even in contentious discussions. It is crucial for individuals to feel empowered to express their stories, thus encouraging honest conversations about reproductive choices.

Keyphrase: sharing abortion experience
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