Navigating the emotional turmoil of divorce is incredibly challenging, especially when it feels like the world is weighing in on your personal struggles. Friends often have good intentions but may inadvertently complicate matters with their comments. Here are some thoughtful suggestions on how to communicate with a friend experiencing divorce.
What Not to Say:
“You shouldn’t dwell on him so much. Stop fixating!”
What to Say Instead: “What did he do this week that upset you? Really? That’s unbelievable! What a jerk!”
What Not to Say:
“Here’s a plant for your new place!”
What to Say Instead: “I thought about bringing a plant, but I figured you’d prefer this big bottle of bourbon instead!”
What Not to Say:
“Is now really the right time to buy an expensive new mattress?”
What to Say Instead: “Let’s go shopping for some luxurious new sheets—800 thread count, my treat!”
What Not to Say:
“You should be jealous of the time away from your kids.”
What to Say Instead: “Oh, that sounds really tough. Let me buy you a drink. He’s such a jerk!”
What Not to Say:
“Exercise is the best way to cope.”
What to Say Instead: “You seem a bit underweight, so I baked you some cookies!”
What Not to Say:
“Hanging out with him doesn’t mean we prefer him.”
What to Say Instead: “We’re just hanging out with him to gather info for you. We don’t even like him—he’s such a jerk!”
What Not to Say:
“Why does it bother you that he has a new girlfriend?”
What to Say Instead: “Let’s update your Tinder profile with some fabulous new photos!”
What Not to Say:
“How about a mani-pedi?”
What to Say Instead: “Want to go egg his girlfriend’s house together?”
What Not to Say:
“Shouldn’t you focus on your kids for a while instead of dating?”
What to Say Instead: “I spotted some condoms on sale at the store yesterday, so I picked you up a few boxes!”
What Not to Say:
“Is this really the time to explore amateur adult films?”
What to Say Instead: “Okay, fair point. Maybe we can talk about this later.”
In summary, a friend experiencing divorce needs empathy, validation, and perhaps a little humor. They require support and a listening ear, along with some good company. Remember, even if they seem to be handling things well, their ex is always considered a jerk in these situations.
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Keyphrase: divorce support for friends
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