In this reflective year-long series, a devoted stay-at-home mother documents her youngest daughter’s final year of high school and the intricacies of the college admissions journey. Simultaneously, she navigates her own transition as she prepares for an empty nest and contemplates her future endeavors now that her role as a full-time caregiver is approaching its conclusion.
For me, the arrival of August has always marked the winding down of summer. The days grow noticeably shorter, back-to-school advertisements flood the airwaves, and autumn decorations appear on store shelves. However, this August signifies an even more significant transition in my life. My youngest child is on the brink of her senior year of high school, and in a year’s time, I will be an empty nester, at least part-time, as she embarks on her college journey.
Eighteen years ago, I made the pivotal decision to leave my position as managing editor at a small publishing house in New York. At that time, I was a mother of a 3-year-old and four months pregnant with my second daughter. I found myself increasingly dissatisfied with my job and realized that juggling a two-hour commute each way along with caring for two children would be extraordinarily challenging. Managing one child had already proved difficult.
My husband and I believed our finances wouldn’t permit us to live on a single income, but we decided to take a leap of faith—I would stay home for one year, dedicating my time to our new baby, then seek out a different job that was hopefully closer to home. “Just one year,” I assured my husband the night before I submitted my resignation.
One year turned into two, then five, then ten, and ultimately, eighteen. Throughout this journey, when financial constraints arose, I considered returning to work. I attended interviews and even received job offers. Yet, each time, I opted to stay home. Despite the financial strain—and acknowledging how fortunate I was to have this choice—I cherished being present for my children. I actively volunteered at their elementary school, founded a small nonprofit, and eventually returned to my love of writing, contributing freelance articles to a local newspaper. I also self-published three novels and had essays featured on various platforms. Each year, I questioned whether I should return to the workforce, but I always found reasons to postpone that decision.
My youngest daughter has required my undivided attention. When inquired about my lack of employment, I would gently clarify that I don’t work outside the home. This clarification usually occurred at social gatherings, where I would explain that caring for my daughter was my full-time job. And indeed, it has been. She has needed my support every moment, even during her school hours, and especially when she is home.
Now, however, she is preparing to leave. We visited colleges last year, and she has compiled her list. She has completed her SATs and ACTs and requested recommendations from two teachers. She has documented her extracurricular activities. While she is excited about attending college, she is also apprehensive. She has always been uncomfortable being away from home, even for sleepovers, and prefers routine. Yet, she eagerly anticipates meeting new peers, gaining independence, and finding a new place to call her own.
I am thrilled to assist her in this significant transition into adulthood. I share her excitement about where her future will lead. Will we take her to a small institution across the country with its distinctive block scheduling? Or will it be the liberal arts state university where she felt an immediate connection during her campus tour? Perhaps it will be the larger private college just a four-hour drive away, offering a multitude of major options? What will she be doing a year from now?
This situation also prompts me to reflect: What will I be doing next year? What direction should my life take? Many of my friends have returned to the workforce, often full-time. Some managed to maintain their careers while our children were in elementary and middle school, using a mix of daycare, friends, and babysitters to manage their time. They now enjoy the rewards of their decisions—advancing their careers, securing promotions, and stepping into more demanding roles. Others ventured back into the job market part-time after years at home, while some pursued advanced degrees to re-establish their professional identities. I have taken none of these paths.
Will I return to work? Should it be part-time or full-time? Can I even find a position in this competitive job market? Would volunteering in a field of interest be more beneficial? Or should I take time to recalibrate after my daughter departs? Should I explore new avenues or stick to what I know? I could continue to write novels indefinitely; is that sufficient?
At just 47 years old, after dedicating 21 years to raising my children, my time is approaching. But what does that future hold? It’s the beginning of the end—for both of us.
In summary, as the journey through senior year unfolds, both mother and daughter face significant transitions. The daughter prepares for her independent life, while the mother contemplates her next steps after years devoted to family. This new chapter brings uncertainty but also the promise of fresh opportunities.
Keyphrase: Senior Year Transitions
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