Dear Mary,
I want to begin by saying that I never sought your opinion. You, who share my Catholic upbringing and were taught about the transformative power of love and sacrifice, do you truly understand the extent of my sacrifices for my children? Have you considered the countless needles I endured, the medical procedures I faced, or the times I found myself in the emergency room, wracked with intense pain? Do you know how many tears have fallen in this journey?
You, who conceived your first child after a single lapse in contraception, have you ever reflected on the experience of an infertile woman? Do you comprehend the heartache of a body that refuses to fulfill its deepest yearnings? Can you imagine the despair that accompanies each negative pregnancy test, only to find yourself rummaging through the trash an hour later, hoping for a miracle?
These children, born from the profound love shared between my partner and me, embody our dreams of family. Does the fact that they spent a minuscule amount of time in a laboratory before being carried by me change that love? Every movement I felt inside me filled my heart with gratitude. My body nourished them, and we became intertwined through shared nutrients, oxygen, and heartbeat. Can you fathom the depth of my love for them, and the love they have for me?
Do you truly believe that something which brings additional love into this world can be categorized as a “sin”? You mentioned that my cyst-ridden ovaries were merely a component of a “greater plan.” Did you ever consider that meeting the experts at the fertility clinic might also be part of this divine design?
If you were to witness a child in peril, would you dismiss the situation as mere fate and refrain from calling for help? You argue that using any means necessary to achieve pregnancy is immoral. Are you aware that many instances of infertility are recognized as treatable medical conditions? If a loved one were battling cancer, would you advise them to refuse life-saving treatment, believing it was wrong to fight against fate?
You accused me of discarding “unused” embryos as if they were worthless. Do you know that I refused to let go of even the lowest-graded embryo? Any embryos not transferred back to me were treated with the utmost care, safeguarded in a medical facility, holding the potential to grant hope to us or another couple in need.
You claimed I take life for granted, but do you understand the heartbreak I experienced over every egg that failed to mature, every embryo that didn’t develop, and every unsuccessful transfer? I lit candles, laid out prayer cards, and cried until I was drained of all emotion.
Look at my children—these beautiful, vibrant miracles, manifestations of love. Observe how they illuminate any room, how the word “Mama” escapes their lips, a cherished secret meant for the woman who gave them life.
Watch as they discover joy in everyday moments, share laughter in silence, and express wonder at the world around them. Hear their innocent voices as they sing and play, their small hands reaching out to connect with the world.
You may label me a sinner, and I won’t contest that. I acknowledge my imperfections and mistakes, but my role as a mother is not among them.
If you want to learn more about home insemination methods, consider reading this insightful post about home intracervical insemination syringes. For more comprehensive information on family building options, visit Resolve’s resource on intrauterine insemination, which is an excellent guide for anyone exploring these journeys.
In summary, my experience with IVF was not one of recklessness, but rather a testament to love and hope. As I embrace my role as a mother, I remain steadfast in my belief that my actions were driven by the desire to create life and foster love.
Keyphrase: IVF and motherhood
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