Dear Emma, Mia, and Zoe,
Life with all three of you has been quite the adventure lately. To be frank, it’s like a whirlwind. One moment I’m filled with joy as you take my hand walking into a store, and the next, my heart feels heavy when you push me away. I see glimpses of your childhood when you curl up next to me to share your day, yet in an instant, you’re off with friends, resembling a group of young women heading out for a night on the town.
I’ve come to realize that not everything said about tween girls holds true. While it hasn’t been entirely easy, it’s not all doom and gloom. I wasn’t prepared for the tears that erupted when I suggested you change your outfit for dinner. Or the eye rolls that come with requests to tidy up your room. And let’s be honest, the word “fine” has taken on a tone that could rival a middle finger.
Please know, I understand what you’re going through. I was once a tween myself, back when they didn’t even have the term “tween,” and I distinctly remember wanting to feel grown up while still longing for my mom’s care. I get it, truly.
However, we need to set some expectations moving forward. With three of you in the house, the chance of at least one of you being “in a mood” is much higher than any single mother can handle. I’m only human after all.
Embrace the Embarrassment
First, accept that I will embarrass you. Whether it’s breaking out my Running Man dance at school events or donning a funky wig for Halloween, it’s going to happen. And yes, I will sing along to those cringe-worthy songs you’ve made me endure in the car. You come from a lineage of embarrassing parents—trust me, you’ll survive.
Honest Conversations
We also need to have some honest conversations about love, relationships, and the changes happening to your bodies. While it may feel awkward, it’s crucial that we tackle these topics together, so you have the right information to make wise choices. It takes bravery to explore new experiences but even more courage to recognize when you’re not ready for something.
Validating Your Feelings
I promise to validate your feelings. Even if it seems absurd to me that asking you to shower triggers an emotional reaction, I will strive to take your concerns seriously. I’ll listen more than I speak, and I’ll choose my battles wisely so that you’ll recognize when something is truly important.
Privacy and Independence
In our home, privacy is earned. You’re all intelligent, but the digital world can be tricky. We need to navigate it together. I understand you require personal space, and while it’s tough for me to accept that I’m no longer the center of your universe, I respect your need for independence. Just please don’t slam the door, and we’ll be just fine.
Friendships and Challenges
I’ll do my best to refrain from interfering in your friendships. Watching you grow and face challenges is hard for me, and the instinct to protect you is strong. However, I know you need to learn to navigate these situations on your own. I will always be here for you, ready to support you when you need it, even if it means letting you stumble first.
Understanding My Decisions
You won’t always like my decisions. It can be hard to understand why you don’t have the same freedoms as others your age. Remember, I’m playing chess while you’re playing checkers, and my choices are made with your long-term future in mind. You might not appreciate it now, but I hope you’ll come to respect my decisions as you grow older.
Seeing the Best in You
Lastly, I promise to see the best in you, as we all deserve kindness, especially during these tumultuous times filled with hormonal changes.
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In summary, my dear daughters, as we navigate this tumultuous period of your lives, let’s embrace the challenges and joys together. I’m here for you every step of the way, and I hope to foster an environment where we can communicate openly and grow as individuals and as a family.
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